Domesticated
by Granate, 2005 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Ed felt like he'd been waiting for hours. He had hunkered down in a shadowed spot under a hedge by Colonel Roy Mustang's front door. This was the last place in the world he wanted to be, but he needed the help of another alchemist to undo this strange transmutation. He and Al had been assigned to track down a shady alchemist who had just moved into Central and arrest him. Arrests weren't normally military affairs, but the job had been passed from the police to the State Alchemists because police officers might not be able to control a rogue alchemist bent on doing harm. There were also rumors that this alchemist had been attempting human transmutation. The Elric brothers were no longer so interested in human transmutation since Alphonse had been restored to his body a year ago, but the assignment had come to Ed because he had the most experience with the subject and would be the best judge of whether suspect was a threat. From what Ed had seen of his laboratory and powers, there was no way he could be successful at human transmutation. In Ed's opinion, the guy was a hack. He knew shit about arrays, couldn't gather much power, wasn't able to work within the bounds of equivalent trade, and had absolutely no style. It was all smoke and mirrors. He was sure of his conclusions, but all of this failed to explain why he was now a cat. Without touching him, without even using an array, that quack had transmuted him into a cat. It should be impossible. Ed himself could hardly believe it unless he looked down at himself periodically. He had golden fur the color of his hair and thin, lighter rings on his tail. Tail. He had a tail because he was a cat, he reminded himself. He didn't like being in this body, he didn't know how to work it properly. The quadrupedal movement had come with instinct, but his muscles felt tight, springy. He could hear, smell, and see better, which was interesting but alarming at times. Using his tail, whiskers, and claws took some getting used to as well. He could read words and understand human speech but he could not talk. Worst of all, he couldn't use alchemy. Being restricted to making cat noises hadn't allowed him to tell Al to stop cuddling him and change him back already. He seriously wondered if that con artist had done something to Al, too. He'd been in some kind of trance. He even told Ed he was never going to change him back because he was too cute! He couldn't be that cat-crazy, could he? Finally, he'd lost his temper and fled. He felt bad about it now, but he had to find someone who could change him back. Now that Al had joined the ranks of the State Alchemists himself, he was devoting more of his time to metallurgy research unless his brother or Colonel Mustang needed him. If Ed didn't know how to change himself back, Al wouldn't either, and that's what brought him here to this house. He desperately hoped Mustang's reputation for scholarship wasn't as phony as the rest of him. His sharpened hearing detected footsteps coming down the walk and then keys jingling. Polished black boots came into view as the Colonel stopped to unlock his door. Ed slunk onto the concrete and clawed at his bootlaces, meowing plaintively. Come on you bastard, recognize me, Ed thought. Al had recognized him instantly, but that could just be because Al had seen the entire thing and watched him crawl out from under a pile of his clothing. Mustang looked down and Ed thought there was a brief flash of shocked recognition but it was quickly gone. The man smirked. "I prefer dogs," he said as he pushed the door open. Yowling at him, Ed bolted into the house before he even got through the door. "Who said such a mangy feline could come into my house?" Mustang asked but closed the door. Ed paced little circles around his feet as he hung up is coat, meowing insistently. Mustang reached out and snagged him by the scruff of his neck, lifting him up off the ground. Even though it didn't hurt, Ed flailed unhappily. Mustang held him at arm's reach. "What a shrimpy cat," he clucked as if he were disappointed. Ed growled threateningly and tried to scratch him. Mustang put him back down. "Cat, you can't stay here," the man told him. Ed cursed to himself. Stupid Mustang. What was he supposed to do? Carve his name in the man's shin with his claws? He meowled angrily. "Is kitty hungry?" the man asked. "Does kitty want some milk?" Ed shouted at him the best a cat possibly could, which only seemed to amuse the man. Ed bolted over to the towering shelf of books in the living room. He jumped on a nearby table and then onto one of the shelves. Trying to get his point across, he knocked some of the numerous alchemy books off the shelf. "Now, cat," Mustang said firmly as he came over. "If you expect to have a place to sleep tonight, you won't mess up my house. Come here," he said as he reached to pick Ed up. His hands closed around Ed's middle and Ed decided he didn't like being handled and moved around. He scratched at Mustang's hand and the man reflexively jerked his arm away, sending Ed flying off the shelf. Ed righted himself in midair and landed claws-out on the arm of Mustang's couch. Right then he decided that being a cat was kind of cool. Mustang swore and held his hand. Ed noticed it was bleeding a little and that Mustang was looking at the claw marks in his couch. "Now I remember why I like dogs better," the man growled and stomped to the front door. He swung the door open and stormed over to Ed. Ed tensed and raised his back in defense. "Get out if you can't behave!" Mustang ordered and Ed ran away. The man chased him around the room and finally, out of fright, Ed ran outside. The door was slammed behind him. Mustang had thrown him out! Now what was he supposed to do? What if he mauled by a dog got picked up by the pound? They would declaw and neuter him! Those were things he wasn't sure he could restore with human transmutation. He had to get back in Mustang's house and make that Colonel change him back into a human. He slunk back up the walk and grumpily sat himself on the concrete step. He meowed loudly at the door. After a few minutes of the most annoying meows he could make, he heard Mustang's voice through the closed door, "Go away, cat!" Ed dashed around the house to the crabapple tree by the kitchen. He easily climbed up the trunk and balanced his way out on a low branch to the window. He couldn't see Mustang but then the man entered the kitchen, having changed out of his uniform and washed off his hand. Ed rowled and pawed at the window. "You again," Mustang said with displeasure. "I don't want your fleas in my house." Ed growled at him. "Ah ah, that kind of thing doesn't make me want to let you in," Mustang told him, teasing if Ed didn't know any better. Even though their relationship had improved over the years, Mustang was still a smug bastard and secretive as hell. Ed had learned he could generally trust the man's intentions, but he still kept Ed off kilter one way or another. Ed tried to make a cuter noise and rubbed against the glass. He was ignored as Mustang rummaged about in the cupboards. Ed sat on the branch and just watched as the man set a pan on the stove and went to the fridge. Ed peered in as he brought a whole fish over to the cutting board. Mustang filleted it and set it to cook in the frying pan. The resulting smell drove Ed nearly mad with hunger. For the first time, he truly understood and appreciated how much better a cat's sense of smell was. He meowed as annoyingly as he could and didn't let up. Finally Mustang came over to the window and looked at Ed. Ed shamelessly rubbed against the window and made a cute noise. Mustang opened the window but not enough for Ed to sneak through. "Let's make a deal, you and me," he suggested. "I let you back in and you leave my house, and me, in one piece. No claws. Sound acceptable?" Ed meowed enthusiastically and Mustang opened the window. Ed jumped to the floor, pleased with his own perfect landing. The man had to know it was him, right? Who else talked to a cat like that and expected it to understand? Ed meowed again and paced the floor a bit. Dinner was sounding, and smelling, good right about now. "Always have to have the last word," Mustang mused. "You remind me of someone I know. I think I'll name you Edward." Ed glowered at him. The man STILL didn't know who he was? Just what the hell was it going to take? "Come with me," Mustang said, opening the basement door. Ed followed him down the stairs. Mustang flipped on a light and surveyed his sparsely filled storage shelves. He found an old crate and filled it with sand from a bucket. He turned to Ed. "I trust you can figure out what that is for," he said. Ed looked at the box in horror and then back at Mustang. He hadn't even thought about this little detail. A box of sand? How humiliating! "I can't let you go outside," Mustang said apologetically as he crouched, sitting back on his heels. "The neighbor's dogs get out a little too frequently. I'm surprised you made it here in one piece like you did. Besides that, I don't want anyone else picking you up," the man explained as he patted Ed's head and scratched behind his ear a little. Ed was surprised at the ease with which Mustang gave these affections and he allowed them. Maybe the man really didn't know it was him. Surely the Colonel would not be so familiar with him if he knew. He was a State Alchemist and ranked as a Major, he didn't get petted, damn it! Mustang stood and Ed followed him upstairs again. He was used to being shorter than everyone around him, but now he was really small! Not even knee height! There were a lot of things about being a cat that would take some getting used to. Not that he planned on being a cat for long. He would figure out how to enlighten that thick-headed Colonel. In the kitchen, Mustang put the finishing touches on the fish and served himself some salad he pulled out of the fridge. Tail twitching, Ed observed this domesticity. He knew Mustang had a house, the address had been written down for him at some point and absorbed into his seemingly instantaneous memory, but he'd never really considered Roy Mustang's life outside of the office where he usually saw the man. Here he was out of uniform, cooking. Ed was surprised that he could cook, he'd always thought Mustang would have someone who did everything for him, kind of like Hawkeye at the office. But no, he had pots and pans and cooked for himself. He had furniture. Framed pictures. A stack of wood by the fireplace. Potted plants. Shelves full of books. Hedges to trim. Sand for when the walk got icy. Dear God, the man might actually be a human being, Ed thought sarcastically. It made him think of his own life. Five years since he'd burned his house and joined the military, one year since he'd restored Al, and still all of his belongings could fit in a suitcase. He and Al lived in an apartment together, but it was more Al's place. Al liked homey things, liked having a steady base. His research kept him in Central most of the time but Ed still traveled a lot for assignments. Ed had a harder time settling down than Al did. The clink of a china bowl on the tile floor got his attention. His dinner was served, apparently. Mustang himself was sitting down at the table. Ed eyed the bowl meant for him. No way. Not now, not ever, he thought to himself. He jumped up into the other chair at the table and meowed expectantly. Mustang cast him a look from the other side of the small table. "No cats at the table," he declared. Ed sat himself down and meowed again. "Down," Mustang said and kicked his chair a little. It took Ed by surprise, but he managed to stay on. He looked at Mustang angrily and made his best demanding meow. He could get along with just meowing as means of communication, and he would accept a small amount of petting, and he would even piss in a box, but he would not eat on the floor. They way he saw it, the less human and more cat-like he acted, the worse the transmutation might get. He would be as annoying as he had to be. He'd learned that, now and then, persistent pestering could get him his way with Colonel Mustang. He meowed again, perfectly prepared to begin a barrage of the most annoying cat sounds he could produce. The man scrutinized him and then sighed as he got up. He stooped to get the bowl and then set it in front of Ed. "I'm letting you develop bad habits already," he chided the cat as he sat back down in his chair. Ed just sniffed the lovely fish scent for brief a moment as he figured out how to try and eat it. He craned his neck but found he still wasn't tall enough to get in the bowl, so he put his front paws on the table and leaned up. Cats didn't use their paws or utensils, so he just used his teeth. Cats also didn't have teeth made for chewing, so he just kind of swallowed the small chunks of tender white meat as he bit them off. The fish was delicious, which was certainly good motivation to keep trying. It was kind of weird at first, but he got the hang of it. He'd had fish lots of times, but for some reason, it tasted especially good when one was a cat. "I'd tell you to get your dirty paws off my table, but that is really just too cute," Mustang said, his fork paused in mid air as he watched. Ed looked up just long enough to throw him a glare and then went back to his fish. Ed finished first, but he hung around while Mustang ate and read the paper. It was then he discovered another benefit of being a cat: no one expected you to wash dishes! You didn't even have to offer and hope you would be turned down! Mustang cleared the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen, leaving Ed free to explore the house. Why not? It would be his domain, at least for tonight, so he may as well. It was not a big house by any standard, but Mustang was a bachelor and even this space was probably more than enough for him. The main floor was just entryway, kitchen, and living room, and a quick tour of the upper floor revealed two bedrooms and the bathroom. Ed didn't know anything about home décor, but Mustang's looked good enough for him. Everything was tasteful, comfortable. There were no military souvenirs, no old style cavalry sabers hanging over the fireplace, no pictures of Mustang shaking the Fuhrer's hand. If he had won any awards in the military that didn't go on his jacket, Ed didn't see them. Mindful of his claws, Ed jumped on the couch and lay down. It was pretty comfortable. His skin felt itchy and he remembered how cats bathed themselves. Licking his fur didn't sound all that great, but he gave it a try. It made his fur feel better and it didn't taste bad or anything, so he kept doing it. He only stopped when he noticed Mustang standing behind him, watching. Annoyed that he hadn't noticed the man's presence, he jumped off the couch and dashed to the book shelf again. He meowed adamantly and tried to choose an appropriate book. Nothing in his reach was on human or animal transmutation, but he bit at the red ribbon hanging over the binding of a book on human anatomy and pulled it off the shelf. Mustang chuckled and came over. "Is kitty feeling playful?" he asked. He picked up the book and dangled the ribbon in front of Ed. Ed wanted to smack his head into the wooden book shelf. Not the ribbon, the book, stupid! He ignored Mustang's attempts to amuse him and dragged another book out. He pulled out five before Mustang started putting them away again, asking, "What is it with you and books, cat?" Ed meowed stubbornly and circled his feet a few times. Mustang perused his shelf and selected a book to read. Elated, Ed followed, trying to get a look at what the book was about. The man settled on a well-worn leather easy chair and Ed jumped onto the rounded arm. He did something then that Ed hadn't expected in the slightest. He picked Ed up and tried to set the cat in his lap. No way he was putting up with that! Ed struggled, was released, and leapt off the man's knee. He landed on the rug and slunk under the couch. He turned and faced his enemy and gave a growl for good measure. There could be no way Mustang recognized him, not if he was trying things like that! Edward Elric was not about to sit in Roy Mustang's lap! Not today, not tomorrow. No sale, buster. Not happening. "What was that about?" Mustang asked, looking annoyed. Ed growled again, just in case the point was still unclear. "You know, I'm not much of an animal person myself, but as I understand it, people bring an animal into their homes, feed it, clean up after it, and take care of it and can expect to receive some kind of affection and companionship in return," he scolded. I'm not your pet, Ed wanted to say but he couldn't, so he just growled again. Mustang was getting the wrong idea about all of this. The sooner he was changed back into a human, the better. "Well, it's back to the streets for you tomorrow, beast," Mustang continued, "and I'm not letting you back in, no matter how much you cry." Ed just ignored him and licked his fur some more. Sometime later, he must have fallen asleep because when he blinked his eyes open again, it was dark in the room. He crawled out from his refuge and was immediately impressed with how well he could see. Turning into a cat when ever he wanted, and being able to likewise turn back into a human, would be a neat trick if he could learn it. He would have to catch that bizarro alchemist first thing when he was human again. The book Mustang had been reading was left on his chair. It was on the history of alchemy and scientific theory. Ed tried using his paws and then his nose to get a look at the table of contents. There were chapters on animal experimentation so maybe Mustang was on the right track after all. Ed could only hope. He went back and jumped on the couch to lie down for the night. He curled up and got comfortable, but it was cold on the main floor. Damn Mustang's drafty old house, he thought grumpily. He got up and wandered upstairs. The door to one room was shut and that left him Mustang's room or the couch. He thought it might be warmer in the bedroom so he entered cautiously. It was dark; Mustang appeared to be asleep. Ed looked for a pile of blankets or towels or even clean laundry to sleep in, but everything that looked comfortable and warm was on the bed where Mustang was. Ed swallowed his pride and jumped on the bed, landing lightly on the very corner. The man was sleeping on one side and there was a woolen blanket covering the other half. Ed didn't know if that was there just for him or if it was always there, but it looked comfy so he snuck over and curled up on it. He soon discovered that it radiated his heat back to him in a most pleasing manner. Deeming this a good place to sleep, he put his head down. A hand moved slowly over the covers to him and patted between his ears. He raised his head, annoyed. That underhanded Colonel had lured him here. It was all an elaborate trap so that he could pet the cat! With his keen eyes, he caught a glimpse of the scratches he'd put on Mustang's hand earlier and resolved to just let himself be petted for a little bit. The hand scratched behind his ears and stroked over his body a few times. Ed tried not to like that, but it felt kind of good. "Maybe I'll keep you after all," a sleepy voice said, somehow managing to sound smug at the same time as the owner scratched under Ed's chin. The hand retreated and Ed thought maybe being petted a little bit wasn't so bad. He got fish for dinner and a warm place to sleep, he could settle for that. + Roy was in his office at eight o'clock on the dot. He yawned as he hung up his overcoat. He was a morning person by nature, but his new pet had woken him up at the crack of dawn. It was no surprise to him when Lt. Hawkeye announced that Alphonse Elric was waiting for him in his office. Roy entered and shut the door so they could talk privately. "Good morning, Colonel," Alphonse said, standing up from the couch. He was habitually polite and respectful in all the ways that Edward could be expected not to be. As he had heard Ed loudly complain on more than one occasion, it had been Al's idea that Ed remain a State Alchemist and Al join him. As Roy had suspected, Edward had no intention of remaining in the military after restoring his brother, but somehow Al had convinced him. No one on Earth had any kind of sway over Edward Elric save his brother, who it turned out had quite a bit. Roy was in charge of the two of them as he had been in charge of Ed, but even he had no idea how the brothers had restored Al's body. A year ago, there had been a long string of assignments and side missions and frequent lost contact, and then all communication ceased completely. The Fullmetal Alchemist went AWOL for nearly a month. Roy had people searching everywhere but the brothers were never found. The two returned on their own, Al in his human form and all but dragging his older brother along behind him. He wanted to join the ranks, he wanted a laboratory for metallurgy research. The three of them locked themselves in this very office to iron out their story and then Roy got him a seat at the next State Alchemist exam, which he passed spectacularly. To this day, Edward still had his automail limbs. If he could find a way to restore Al's body, he could probably restore himself, but they decided it would be too suspicious if he suddenly had normal limbs. Al walking around without the suit of armor was going to generate enough questions and suspicions. If prosthetics were replaced by flesh, it was obvious that some human transmutation had to have occurred, and that was still frowned upon. One thing Roy had always been curious about was that Al could do transmutations with out an array the same way he brother could, but he had not been able to back when he was sealed in the suit of armor. "Good morning, Alphonse," Roy greeted him as he moved around the massive desk to his chair. He sat, trying to control the smirk tugging at his lips. "What can I do for you?" Alphonse sat down again and cleared his throat before beginning. "Colonel, by any chance have you seen my brother this morning? Or last night?" he asked. "Yes, in fact, he was waiting at my door when I returned home from work last night," Roy said with a straight face. "Was he...?" Al started meekly, wondering how to ask this in a way that wouldn't get him a psychological review. "Was he a cat?" Roy finished for him with a full-blown smirk. "Yes, he was, and he was still a cat this morning. Care to explain this?" He folded his hands on the desk and leaned forward. Of course he had recognized the small golden cat on his doorstep as Edward Elric immediately. There was something unmistakable about those amber eyes. It had been a shock, but that cat was most definitely Edward. "We were working on our assignment yesterday to arrest the alchemist who was selling fake potions. We had located him and questioned him, but he fled. We were chasing him down and he... turned Ed into a cat." "Did you apprehend the man?" "No, he got away," Al said regretfully. "What happened after that?" Roy asked. He figured something must have happened between the brothers to make Ed come to him for help. Alphonse shifted uncomfortably. "Well, Colonel, I've always really liked cats and... I told my brother that he was too cute and I wasn't going to turn him back - but I was just kidding! Of course I would have researched how to turn him back, but he got mad and ran away!" Roy nodded. "In any case, it's better that you did not attempt any alchemy on him," he said thoughtfully. "It's better? How can that be?" "Let me ask you a few questions, Alphonse," Roy said and stood up from his chair. "First of all, even without the automail, could all of the organic matter in Ed's body be squished into a body the size of a cat? He's not that small!" "No, I wouldn't think it could be." "And where is his automail? Did you find it lying in a heap next to the cat?" "No, sir." "Where could all that metal have gone? That cat would have to be full of metal," Roy pondered as he paced in front of the window. He stopped, thought, and turned to Al. "Finally, Alphonse, did you actually see an alchemical reaction occur?" "Come to think of it, no. I thought maybe I just missed it, but there was just smoke. No reaction." Roy put his palms flat on the desk and peered over at the young alchemist. "What do you think I'm getting at, Alphonse?" "That my brother was not turned into a cat by means of alchemy." "Correct," Roy nodded and straightened up. "Alchemy in its normal practice is governed by the law of equivalent exchange, which this transformation breaks on several accounts. He is no chimera, either. You've seen them before - two animals meshed as one. Ed was not meshed with a cat, he is a cat. "As I see it, if Edward had been turned into a cat by traditional alchemy, he would be an awfully large cat. Either the cat would be missing his arm and leg as Edward is in his human form, or the cat would be a bit smaller and the limbs would be regained through reabsorption and recycling of other tissues. In that case, you probably would have found the automail lying beside him. If not, the metal would have been incorporated into the cat's body. Human or animal, organic bodies transmuted with metal fittings or appendages are never a pretty sight..." the Colonel trailed off and looked disturbed for a moment. "I see. That all makes sense," Al said. "That being said, this is all good news," Roy said. "It is?" Alphonse asked. "How can this be good news? How are we going to change Ed back?" Roy made that scary smirk that Ed hated so much. "We're not," he said simply. "Now, Colonel," Al tried to placate, "I know he's cute, but we can't leave him like that! He'll be furious! He's probably destroying your house as we speak!" This got Roy's attention. His expression went stormy for a moment and Al could have sworn he cursed under his breath. He cleared his throat. "What I meant is that we don't have to change Edward back. The transformation is not permanent, in fact, it is not even real." "How is that possible?" Al asked, eyebrows knit. Why did he sometimes get the feeling that Colonel Mustang enjoyed confusing him? "Sorcery." "Sorcery? Does anyone even practice sorcery anymore?" "So you've heard of it. It's rather obscure these days. It went out of favor over a century ago as alchemy grew and became a science. An alchemical transmutation is a REAL transformation. You are physically changing one form into a different but equivalent form. Sorcery is merely an illusion compared. The sorcerer cast a spell that makes Ed look like a cat. When he looks at himself, he sees a cat. When others look at him, they see a cat. He and everyone else are convinced that he is a cat. It's a very complete illusion - he even has feline instincts! I caught him basking in a patch of sunlight this morning... Anyway, the good news is that he is not actually a cat, he's still human under that illusion." "Oh, in that case I see how it would have been very dangerous to attempt any alchemy on him," Al said. "But is it really so simplistic? He is physically smaller and lighter than his human form. If it were simply an illusion, wouldn't he still take up the same physical space and only appear smaller?" Mustang rubbed his chin as he thought. "Good observation, Alphonse," he said, "the illusion may be more complicated than I thought. It's possible that this sorcerer is trying to bridge the gap between sorcery and alchemy, or perform some hybrid of the two. Tell me more about this man." "He was very flamboyant and flashy. Usually, alchemists are so secretive, this struck me as strange. His laboratory could hardly be called such, he didn't have a lot of instruments or equipment, he had a lot of books and charms and talismans. Come to think of it, a lot of what he was doing didn't seem like alchemy to me. He didn't follow the law of equivalent trade. At one point, Ed and I were trying to confiscate a book from him and he made it disappear!" "Ah, this is the same thing that I hypothesize he's done to Edward. He cast a spell to fool you into thinking that the book had disappeared. The spell convinces the brain that the book is not there and the brain fills in the background details and in essence, you see through the book." "But how do we get the spell off of him?" Al asked "I've never seen sorcery performed on a human being before, but from what I've read, it may be possible that the spell will wear off if explained to him. I'm not saying that as soon as he realizes it's an illusion that the illusion will cease, unfortunately it's not that simple, but as soon as he knows the truth, he should be able to return to his human form. He may have already figured it out." "So we just tell him and wait." "That's my theory, but of course we need to catch this sorcerer and question him. I won't leave this up to guessing games," Mustang said decisively. Al shifted on the couch. "There are a few… complications, sir," he winced. "Complications? Such as?" "Well, Ed and I were supposed to get on a train for Riesenburg this afternoon and go home for auntie Pinako's birthday this weekend," he said. Roy's mouth set into a hard line and he crossed his arms over his chest. "Alphonse, you are in the middle of an investigation," he reminded the young alchemist. "I know, sir, but Ed and I submitted our Leave of Absence forms and they were approved a month ago," Al told him. The Colonel was faced with a decision. He could be lenient or he could teach two younger officers that sometimes vacations had to be postponed and that was life. "We have to go or they'll never forgive us," Al continued wearily. And Roy knew exactly who they would blame. It seemed that teaching two young officers a lesson would incur the wrath of the Rockbells, and it was just enough to tip the scales. Besides, he knew the two brothers had been working on their own all weekend to track down and apprehend the sorcerer and they would have succeeded had he not turned Ed into a cat. "All right, I'll let you go this time. I will catch that sorcerer myself and question him on the transformation," he decided. A little field work would be good for him. "Then there's just one more problem," Al said. "Oh," Mustang said as it just occurred to him. "That's right, Ed is at my house. You probably want him back." "No, that's not quite the issue, sir," Al said and paused to imagine the scene. First there was the problem of getting Ed on the train. Ed would have to be in a cat carrier, which he would hate, or Al would have to sneak him on. Once they arrived at the Rockbells, there would be the initial freak out session, and then Winry would get mad because Ed was mistreating his automail. She and Pinako would be very concerned about whether the automail docks would be intact when Ed was turned back into a human. Eventually, Winry would probably want to cuddle and play with Ed. They wouldn't be able to go visiting with any of the neighbors. Den may or may not recognize him and could end up chasing him all over the yard. The way Al saw it, it was better that Ed not come and they never know of his transformation. "I can't bring him home like this, Colonel," Al sighed. "If there's no way to speed up the spell, than can I leave him with you? Will you watch him while I'm gone?" "Are you sure you want to leave him? He won't like being without you," Roy said. "I know," Al sighed, "I don't like it either. I don't like leaving him this way, but I think it's better that the Rockbells don't know about this." "I see," Roy nodded. "Are you sure he wouldn't rather stay with Hughes or Sheska?" "I'm sure he wouldn't want to be in the same room as Alicia the way he is," Al said, chuckling a little. "He may not mind staying with Sheska, but I would feel better about leaving him with someone who knows what's happening to him. You don't mind, do you Colonel?" Roy sighed in resignation. He had enjoyed messing with Edward last night, but he hadn't anticipated it to go on any longer than that. He rather enjoyed his quiet, child-free, animal-free life, but he supposed he should take some responsibility for his subordinate. "How many days did you say you would be gone?" "Seven," Al answered. "A week?" Roy asked tightly, eyebrow twitching ever so slightly. "It's a long train ride," Al said apologetically. "Well, let's hope your brother is back to normal by the time you return," + Colonel Mustang spent the morning doing reconnaissance. Armed with the description Ed and Al had been working off of, he visited a few of his usual sources for information. Most alchemists preferred quiet study in private laboratories and libraries. These types were secretive and exclusive, difficult to locate and even more difficult to earn the respect and confidence of. Roy was tenuously accepted into the higher alchemy circles only because of the power of his alchemy and the depth of his knowledge. They may disapprove of his high-profile lifestyle and service to the military, but they were awed by his ability and intellect. Non-alchemists were always so impressed by his flame alchemy. It was his specialty and that was really all he cared let them know about, but his talent had a much broader range. When he questioned his acquaintances about the alleged sorcerer, he heard everything from grumbling complaints about the charlatan to outright curses of the imposter. Fake potions, books stolen from shops, advertisements plastered all over town. It seemed the man hadn't made a glowing impression on Central City's alchemy community. They urged Roy to stop him as soon as possible, which he assured them he intended to do. He got a few tips on the sorcerer's location and returned to headquarters to collect members of his staff.
"What do you want?" a voice asked from inside. "I'm looking for a man named S-sardini," Fury said, stumbling over the ridiculous name. "State your purpose." "I have heard he's a great alchemist. I need a potion," he said. Hushing his voice some, he added, "I brought money." "The Great Sardini bids you enter!" the voice boomed and door opened on its own. Fury entered and adjusted his glasses. Wall sconces lit by themselves, leading him down a hallway so he followed. He came to a great room with shelf after shelf of books, cages of small animals and insects, jars of strange looking substances, and in the center, a man in a deep purple robe. "I am the great Sardini," he said as he removed the hood. He had dark hair and moustache, matching the description perfectly. "What can I do for you, young man?" "You can start by putting your hands where I can see them," Mustang said from the shadowed hallway behind Fury. He cautiously stepped into the room, gloved fingers set and ready to snap. "A trap!" the sorcerer growled, eyes darting between the Sergeant and the Colonel. "I'm making a military arrest," Roy announced. "Well, if it isn't the Flame Alchemist," Sardini sneered. "I'm truly flattered." "Sardini, you're to come with me to Central Headquarters and after questioning, you will be handed over to Central's Police force. I suggest you come quietly." Instead of putting his hands up in surrender, the sorcerer reached into his robe. It took Mustang only a few seconds to figure out what he had retrieved. From his reading, he'd learned that sorcerers needed a focusing device for their power, some kind of wand or talisman. Sardini had a black stick and it was pointed directly at Fury. Mustang leapt in front of Fury and at once felt his body start to seize and tremble. Sardini was trying to change him! He would have liked to know how the transformation worked, but he didn't want to become some unknown and possibly embarrassing animal in front of his staff, so he turned the wand to ash with one snap of his fingers. Sardini threw a vial at Mustang's feet and it went up in a thick cloud of green smoke as soon as it broke. He turned to flee before Mustang could compose himself. "Hold it right there," a female voice ordered. Lt. Hawkeye was in the balcony, rifle trained on the fugitive. Lt. Havoc blocked the back doorway, rifle butt balanced against his shoulder. Out-gunned, out of tricks, and trapped, Sardini surrendered. Hawkeye and Havoc kept their aim on him as Fury and Roy took the robe and checked him for any other possibly dangerous articles. "You may as well stop wasting your time and release me now," Sardini said. "I've done nothing wrong, you have no right to detain me!" "I have all the cause I need," Roy said easily. "Selling fake potions, false advertising of services, possession of stolen goods, and I'll be having my men search this building for illegal substances. All of that on top of assault on a State Alchemist. It's going to be quite the list, I'm sure. I look forward to chatting with you about it," Roy smirked He handed the sorcerer over to Breda, who was waiting with a van outside, and ordered the others to search the house. Roy went back to headquarters to get Farman started on the background check. He had an interrogation to get underway. + Sardini was cuffed and seated unhappily in a metal chair when Roy entered the small, square interrogation room. "There's a very interesting list of charges against you, just like I promised," Roy began as he sat down across the table. "Let's start by discussing how you turned my subordinate into a cat," he said, cutting to the chase. He sat back in his chair, crossing one boot over his knee. Sardini grinned. "Ah, so you've seen my legacy, my great work: successful human transmutation. It's magnificent, isn't it? You would have experienced it yourself had your flames not been so fast." Roy arched an unimpressed eyebrow at him. "Let's cut the bullshit," he suggested. "I happen to know that you can't execute anything near human transmutation." "What makes you so sure?" Sardini sniffed. The Colonel leaned his temple on his fist. "Because you're a shitty alchemist," he answered boredly. Sardini fumed. "I don't need to justify my life's work to a dog of the military," he spat. "So let's talk about what you did, and how I can go about undoing it," Roy prompted again. "Do you mean to tell me that you, the famous Flame Alchemist, cannot figure it out?" Sardini sneered. It was a jab to Roy's pride, but he refused to let the sorcerer provoke him. "That's right, Sardini," he said, opening his hands in front of him, "you have the rapt attention of a State Alchemist. Now's your chance to show off." Sardini squinted his eyes and put his nose in the air. "I would never share such a powerful secret with a dog of the military." Roy clucked at him and shook his head. "So disparaging of State Alchemists," he noted as he opened the folder Farman had compiled. "Interesting for someone who took the exam twice. Hubert Snodgrass, that is you, isn't it?" he asked, waving the papers in the air a little. The Sorcerer scowled at him and Mustang hummed as he perused the stat sheet. "Snodgrass, Hubert C. Scoring just 4% on the first exam sitting and 10% on the second," Mustang read from the report. He put the papers back and regarded the red-faced man. "Here's what I think. You have a little knowledge of alchemy but no skill with it. For whatever reason, you pursued sorcery and you try to pass it off as alchemy. You're even trying to combine the two." "Those are my professional secrets. I'm afraid I can't share them with you," Sardini said with haughty smile. Roy folded his gloved hands on the table. "There may be certain advantages if you do," he said slowly. "Like?" Sardini demanded. "The charges against you are numerous. I could make some of those disappear if you cooperate," Roy said. "They're all false, you can't prove a thing!" "Came on Sardini, I know it was a sorcery trick. All I want to know is how I can get my subordinate back." "You'll just have to figure it out for yourself." Roy believed had already figured it out, but he wanted Sardini's confirmation before he took any kind of action. His patience with the man was growing thin. "There may be other advantages to cooperation," he said and snapped his fingers. He created just enough of a flare to singe off the ends of Sardini's carefully waxed moustache. "Like not making a visit to Central Hospital's burn unit," Mustang finished. Sardini sputtered and reached for his moustache. "Now," Roy smirked, "I believe you were going to tell me something." "You can't do thi-" "I don't have all day." SNAP! "Yaahh!!" "Don't keep me waiting." SNAP! "I'm losing my patience." SNAP! "Look lively, Snodgrass!" SNAP! The sorcerer was shrieking comically and groping at what was left of his moustache - a sad little patch of hair that Roy took care of with one more perfectly-targeted flare. He began to eye the sorcerer's hair, which was excessively styled with the same delightfully flammable wax. Sardini was trying to catch his breath. "Stop! All right!" he gulped, "I'll - I'll tell you everything!" + The Colonel was detained late filing paperwork on the arrest and sorting through confiscated items with his staff. It was well into the evening when he finally returned home and he was almost afraid of what he would find when he opened the door of the dark house. He turned on a light and discovered that nothing was knocked over, shredded, or otherwise destroyed. When Ed came trotting over and sat down, Roy took one look at him and decided to have just one more day of fun tormenting him. What harm could it do? Ed, however, wasn't going to make it easy for him. As he went to the stairs, Roy saw that Ed had been busy while he was gone. About twenty books were laid out on the living room floor spelling ED. Roy stooped the scratch between Ed's ears. "My kitty can do tricks, that's so cute!" he exclaimed before he went about picking the books up. Ed meowed angrily and ran circles around Mustang as he cleaned up the books and put them away. Just how stupid was he, anyway? How could he miss something so obvious? Ed had been thinking all day to come up with ways to tell Mustang who he was and it didn't get any more blatant than that! He had literally spelled it out! He followed Mustang upstairs and ducked into the bathroom to take his aggression out on the toilet paper as Mustang changed clothes. When he bored of mincing the toilet paper he wandered downstairs again to the bookshelf. He had tried to do a bit of reading today and found some interesting things. He was calmer about his transformation now than he had been yesterday. He was thinking more rationally about it and seriously suspecting that it was not alchemy that had turned him into a cat. The Great Sardine or whoever certainly hadn't been much of an alchemist. Ed hadn't yet found the answer to the puzzle, but Mustang had an impressive collection of books. "Edward!" an angry shout came from the bathroom upstairs. Mustang appeared at the top of the stairs with a scowl and an unrecognizable roll of toilet paper. He pounded down the stairs and Ed darted under the couch for safety. Mustang got down on his hands and knees to frown at Ed. "We had a deal," he bit out, shaking the roll of toilet paper at him threateningly. Ed glared right back at him and backed out of arm's reach. He was saved by the telephone ringing. Mustang got up and picked it up after the second ring. "Oh, hello, Alphonse!" he said loudly. He smirked as Ed instantly popped out from under the couch. "Where are you now?" "Gainsville? Good, your train's right on schedule then," Roy nodded. He watched Ed pace impatiently in front of him and chose his words carefully. "Yes, we caught the sorcerer this afternoon. I interrogated him myself. It's exactly as we thought." Ed jumped on the counter and meowed loudly at the receiver. Al laughed on the other end, obviously able to hear him. Roy tried to shoo the cat and held the receiver away. He did not yet want Ed to know that he and Al had conspired and that he was aware of Ed's transformation. The gold cat would not be shooed. He put his front paws on Roy's chest and stood up on his hind legs, trying to meow at his brother. "Tolerably," Roy answered when Al asked how Ed was behaving. He moved away, letting Ed nearly fall off the counter. Al expressed concern about Ed's transformation back to a human, and Roy simply answered, "It should be fine, just leave everything to me." Reassured that Ed was in good hands, Al said goodbye. "See you in a week," Mustang replied and Al hung up. Mustang, however had a brilliant idea. "No, no, don't worry about a thing," he said to the dial tone, "we're looking for your brother." Ed meowed loudly and looked like he was judging the distance to jump on Mustang. Roy gave him a discouraging look and waved a hand at him to ward him off. "I'm sure he'll turn up. You just have a good time at the Rockbell's," Roy said. "Yes, I'm sure he'll understand why you had to go without him." The cat on the counter batted at the phone cord, caterwauling. "All right. Take care, Alphonse," Roy finished and hung up the phone. Ed looked right at him and gave him a long, loud, meow. It's me, you idiot! he thought desperately. What was going on? It made sense that Al had gone ahead to the Riesenburg without him, it was probably better that way, but his brother had told Mustang he was missing, but not that he was a cat? Maybe Al thought he would have changed back by now. Who was the sorcerer? Was that the man he and Al had been after? So, he wasn't an alchemist after all. Mustang had caught him, but he had also failed to mention that he'd turned a State Alchemist into a cat? Mustang had people out there searching for him when he was right here in the man's kitchen? It just didn't add up. He may have mixed feelings about the Colonel but he gave him credit for having SOME amount of intelligence. Why hadn't he figured it out, yet? "Don't play with the phone cord, cat," Roy told him. Ed jumped off the counter with a huff and went to sit down by his water bowl. He was hungry. It was making him cranky. "Time for some dinner, eh?" Mustang hummed and went to the fridge. He was worn out from all the minutia and extra work the sorcerer's arrest had caused him and he didn't feel like fussing with anything fancy for dinner. He went back to the phone and called up his favorite little place to order something he could pick up. After he hung up, he got himself a beer and collapsed on the couch. Ed took the ribbon marker of a book in his teeth and dragged it over. "Not more alchemy books," Roy groaned and threw his arm over his eyes. He felt like he was back in academy. Ed meowed and jumped onto the arm of the chair. The man petted him between the ears and down his back and tugged on his tail a little. He seemed tired, so Ed didn't get mad. From the sound of things, the Colonel had done some actual work today, so of course it would tire him out, old man that he was. Besides, Ed knew that if he came within arms reach, Mustang might try to pet him so if he wasn't ok with it, he wouldn't have jumped up here. "No beer for you," Mustang said, holding the bottle away when Ed tried to sniff it. Ed gave him a look and made a little cat noise at him. He hadn't really wanted some, he'd just been curious. He let Mustang pet him a little more before jumping down and going back to the bookcase. "You're obsessed!" Mustang chuckled from the couch. "You're just like your namesake that way." Ed glared at him and then rolled his eyes. Mustang was going to be so embarrassed when he finally figured it out. Here he was, treating a fellow officer and State Alchemist like a house pet! And talking to it! If he wasn't embarrassed about that, Ed would list out all the ways it had been painfully obvious that Ed the cat was Ed the person until he was embarrassed. He looked for a book that might have any kind of information on sorcery. When he found one, he pulled it out and nosed it open. He peripherally noticed when Mustang left to get the food but he was definitely roused from study when the man returned. His nose told him it was steak. He jumped up and trotted over to where Mustang was taking off his shoes. "Smells good, huh?" Roy smirked. Ed made a happy kitty noise and led him to the kitchen. He paced the floor as Mustang unwrapped the food and dished it out. He didn't have to make a fuss tonight about eating at the table - Mustang brought both plates straight there. So he WAS trainable, Ed cackled to himself as he jumped into his chair. The plate was set in front of him and he discovered that Mustang had cut the steak into small pieces for him. He happily dug in. "I'm spoiling you," Mustang sighed as if he were disappointed in himself. "As if you deserve it after that senseless destruction of innocent toilet paper." Ed didn't even look up from the steak. "Ah well, if that's the worst you do, I'll be a lucky cat owner, so I've heard," Mustang said as he watched Ed snarf down the steak. "Sausage for breakfast, steak for dinner. If you get fat, I'm putting you on a kibble diet like every other cat in this city." Ed ignored the threat and kept eating. He was a cat, he had no appetite for vegetables and hadn't had good steak in a long time. Besides, he wasn't going to get fat. He wasn't even going to be a cat for very long. He was finding some promising leads on sorcery. If he didn't figure this out, or if Mustang didn't grow a brain in the next week, Al would be home and he would be able to solve the puzzle. After dinner, Mustang settled onto the easy chair and indulged Ed when he brought a book over. The cat jumped onto the arm of the chair but couldn't see very well, so he jumped up onto the pillowed back of the chair. It was soft and wide and he could read over Mustang's shoulder, so he made himself comfortable. "What, am I your page-turner now?" Mustang asked mildly. "Ok, but you have to be my headrest." He leaned his head back on Ed and Ed decided he could put up with it. Pages were awfully hard for a cat to turn. Again, he couldn't shake the feeling that Roy knew it was him under this fur and was just putting on a front. Ed wondered what the purpose of that would be, but he knew that wondering why Mustang did anything he did was usually an exercise in futility. It surprised Roy how relaxing petting a cat was. He'd always thought that dogs were better because they could be trained to do useful things. Ed wasn't doing anything at all, he was asleep, but right now he seemed like the ideal pet. It was really unfortunate for him that he made such a cute cat. He was small, too, even for a cat. He didn't yet look full grown. Maybe that meant there was still some hope that he might grow a bit more in the future, Roy smirked to himself. Ed had nodded off and woke up to Mustang petting him. That sneaky bastard had waited until he was asleep to take advantage of him! Ed grumbled a few cat noises and yawned. Mustang hardly noticed Ed's complaints. He just kept absentmindedly stroking Ed's fur, completely engrossed in the book. Ed looked at the page to see how far he'd gotten and discovered that Mustang had switched to a novel. Some help he was! Mustang's hand disappeared when Ed stood up and stretched. He jumped to the floor and went to his water bowl before visiting the basement. He prowled around the house a little bit. Something moving caught his eye and he crouched down, slinking along the back of a chair. He poked his head out to get a better look. It was a string. Dangling down from the arm of the chair. Held by Roy Mustang. Grinning Roy Mustang. Ed turned on his little kitty pad heels and stalked off in the other direction. Mustang was trying to play with him! What a lame attempt! He was NOT going to play with Mustang! He was NOT going to chase that string! Even if his feline instincts were screaming at him to. He sat down on the rug under the kitchen table and licked his fur instead. He was about done cleaning himself when he noticed Mustang turning off lights and making his way upstairs. The water in the bathroom went on, and then off, and then all lights went out. Which meant it was safe for Ed to go upstairs. He crept up the stairs and silently entered the bedroom. He jumped on the bed and curled up on the wool blanket. He hadn't given Mustang much of a chance to fall asleep first, so he had to endure some petting. He was beginning to find it soothing and minded it less. Later, he wouldn't remember who had fallen asleep first, Mustang or himself.
Roy woke up for the second morning in a row to Ed walking on him. He rolled over unhappily and blinked at the clock. "Ed, it's five," he groaned and squeezed his eyes shut again. He'd always heard that cats were nocturnal, why the hell was Ed waking him up so early. Oh that's right, because he could. Honestly, what did that cat want from him, anyway? Next thing he knew Ed would be dragging alchemy books up here. As if he were going to research Ed's condition at five in the morning! He sighed to himself. He should really tell Ed that he'd figured the transformation out. There was a little meow and Ed walked over him again. "Shoo, Ed," he grumbled, curling onto a ball on his side and flipping the covers over his head. Of course, whenever Ed was told to shoo, that's exactly what he refused to do. Ed batted at his head. Roy rolled onto his back and pushed the covers down just enough to glare at Ed. Ed put his front paws on the man's chest and leaned over to stare at him and sniff him. He should tell Ed about the sorcerer's spell and order him to hurry up and change back and be out of his house by the time he got back from work, but he looked at Ed and just couldn't do it. For some reason, he liked having Ed as his pet. Ed was a lively and entertaining little companion. "Let me sleep until six and you can have what's left of the sausage," Roy bargained. Ed sprung off the bed with a happy meow and went to go make trouble somewhere else.
Roy groaned and tried to roll away but the cat was persistent. Finally he threw the covers over Ed and got up. Ed rather liked it there, so he stayed under the blankets. Besides, Mustang was probably changing and he should not see that. He shouldn't even be in this room! He wasn't really the man's cat. He would still have to work with him every day after this surreal little episode. He crept out from the covers when he heard Mustang leave the room. He wandered downstairs where Mustang was in sweats and tying on athletic shoes. Ed was mildly surprised, but he supposed the Colonel had to stay in shape somehow. Roy left the house and Ed amused himself until he got back, took a shower, and came down in a bathrobe to fix breakfast. Ed circled his feet and meowed as the man went to the fridge, and then followed him to the stove and jumped on the counter. He wasn't letting that sausage out of his sight for a second. "Cat's aren't supposed to be on the counter," Roy said but made no move to push him off. Ed supposed the man would expect to be allowed some petting for that. He watched hungrily as Mustang cooked his sausage, and made eggs and toast for himself. "Which section would you like?" Roy joked, casting a glance across the table at Ed as he opened the morning paper. Ed didn't particularly want to read the paper, he was happy with his sausage, so he didn't answer. When they were finished Roy cleaned up and went upstairs to change, and Ed tried to think of how he would spend another boring day cooped up in the house. He loved to read, but he needed a break now and then. He thought maybe he could sneak outside today. Just for a little while. He could easily spend a few hours wandering the neighborhood and be back inside before Mustang got home. He wouldn't stalk anyone's birdfeeders, mark any mailboxes, poop in any flower beds, or cause any other kind of trouble. It might be fun to make Mustang take responsibility for him terrorizing the neighborhood, but it would be smarter not to be noticed. The Colonel came downstairs in his uniform and put on his boots at the door. Ed sat down by the coat tree and played with the end of a scarf. "Bye, Ed," the man said, scratching his head. "Be good today." Ed meowed back innocently. When he was sure Mustang was gone, he went to the basement where he had seen a window with a lock he could open. He judged the jump to the highest shelf and landed with ease. Being a cat did have a few advantages. He wasn't very strong, but he was able to turn the latch and push the window open. He crawled into the window well and jumped out. It was a crisp fall day. Days were still sunny and beautiful, but they were getting shorter and it was getting cold at night. The leaves were changing colors and collecting on the ground. It was a nice time of year in Amestris, he'd always thought. It was a nice time of year to be home in Riesenburg, too. He hoped Al was having fun with everyone. He didn't really have much of a plan for his free time, he just wanted to be outside. He explored Mustang's yard first. There was the crabapple tree, a couple taller pines, and the squat hedges. The house was close to the street, so the post box was next to the front door. There were flowers in the window boxes and Ed wondered if Mustang planted them himself or paid a gardener. They were still blooming but looked just about ready to be done for the season. The mail delivery man was making his rounds so Ed stalked him along the other side of the hedge and then moved into the open on the front step to say hello. He meowed as the delivery man put the letters in the box. The man smiled and stooped. "I didn't know Roy Mustang had a cat," he smiled and petted Ed's head. Ed didn't mind. He'd only been socializing with Mustang the last few days, it was nice to see someone else. Ed meowed again. "Aren't you a cute little fella?" the mailman chuckled. He stood up and went back to his route. "You stay away from Horatio and Hamlet, now," he warned with a wave to Ed. Ed decided to explore the neighborhood next. He kept to the shadows of trees and bushes as much as he could. Mustang's neighborhood was in a nice part of town, and full of smaller, older houses. There were children playing in some yards, and mothers chatting. It was getting on toward the afternoon when Ed returned to Mustang's yard. The front step was sunny and getting warmer, and something in Ed told him to lie down and soak it up, so he did. He fell asleep, and when he woke up, the sun was lower and there were kids chattering down the street as they walked home from school. "Look!" Three teenage girls had stopped and one was pointing at Ed. "Oh my god, he's so cute!" another squealed and they hurried up the walk to where Ed was lying. "I didn't know Roy had a cat," one of the girls said as three hands suddenly descended upon Edward. He twitched his tail, but remained still. He didn't really know what to do with girls but he didn't want to be mean, or bite and scratch them, so he just let them pet him. He was kind of giving up on the whole petting thing. When a person saw a cat, they wanted to pet it, plain and simple. Besides, domestic cats had been bred to enjoy being petted and getting attention, it wasn't his fault he liked it. Who was he to argue with 5,000 years of domesticity? "Do you live here, kitty?" one girl cooed. Ed meowed back cutely as she scratched under his chin. "Aren't you a pretty kitty?" Ed squinted his eyes and mrowed again. It was too easy to impress these girls. "Aw, you're so happy, aren't ya? I bet you like being Roy's kitty," a brunette asked and the other girls giggled. Ed gave her a look, but she didn't seem to notice. "Maybe you can tell us if he has a girlfriend," another girl giggled. Ed flicked his tail again. They had crushes on Mustang! Talk about easy to impress! He couldn't believe it. These girls weren't much younger than he was, the man was twice their age! "I told you guys I saw him jogging again this morning, right?" the brunette asked excitedly. "Yes!" the other two squealed back as they continued to pet Ed. Ed rolled his eyes. This was a little too much. Didn't these girls have anything better to be obsessing over? Teenage girls. And everybody wondered why Ed didn't find himself a girlfriend. "Your brother was stationed in East City and got to see him do his flame alchemy, right?" one girl asked. "Yeah, he said it was so cool," another answered. Cool? Ed scoffed to himself. That pyromaniac had nearly destroyed East City Headquarters! Not that Ed had had anything to do with that. "I wish I could get to see it," a girl sighed. "I wish I could take this kitty home with me!" Ed had had enough so he got up before she could. He let them pet him one last time before he went around the house and ducked back in through the basement window. He even managed to lock it again when he was inside. He felt the need to clean his fur after all that petting, so he got comfortable on the couch and did so. He didn't remember falling asleep but he woke up when Mustang came in the front door. It was disturbing how often he woke up without realizing he'd fallen asleep. Were all cats narcoleptic like this? "What, no books? No secret messages? No cute tricks?" Mustang asked, unlacing his boots. Ed meowed as he got up and stretched. "Oh, please don't get up for me," Mustang teased. He took off his blue jacket and hung it on a hanger on the coat rack. Ed jumped to the floor. He wanted to hassle the Colonel about his gaggle of young admirers, but sadly couldn't. It was likely he already knew about it. Girls like that didn't know when they weren't being subtle. His stomach told him it was almost dinnertime, so he hung around the kitchen. "Hungry?" Mustang asked. He entered the kitchen and turned the stove on. Ed meowed back at him. "You'll have to be a little patient," the man said, tying an apron over his white shirt and uniform pants, "I just came home to put the chicken in." The apron said 'Burnt to Perfection.' Ed snorted the best a cat could. Was that a comment on his alchemy or his cooking? Ed couldn't be sure. Mustang took a chicken out of the fridge and set about trimming it. "I have a meet and greet with some officials this evening, but I'll be home in a couple hours and this will be done," he explained as he rubbed some oil on the chicken. Ed jumped on the counter and licked his whiskers as he watched Mustang prepares the chicken. He paced a little bit and meowed. Whatever concoction Mustang was putting on it smelled terribly good. The chicken went in a roasting pan with some potatoes and "If it catches fire or anything, call the fire department," Mustang ordered before he strode out of the house. So funny, Ed thought sarcastically and rolled his eyes. Actually, he probably could figure out how to call the fire department, the problem was he couldn't talk to anyone. Ed was kind of bored and tried to read for a while. The chicken started smelling too good, so he thought he would duck outside again. + When Roy got home, it was dusk. He entered his house but no gold cat appeared. He glanced to the living room and didn't see Ed. He wandered into the kitchen in his boots, but Ed was not there enjoying the smell. There was no cat by the bookshelf, either. "Ed?" he called, tromping up the stairs. Had Ed transformed back into a human and gone home? Something unexpected could have happened, like he transformed into a fish and was flopping around on the floor upstairs. Maybe the transformation had gone terribly wrong and he was unconscious or hurt somewhere. Ed was not in the bathroom or the bedroom. Roy hurried back downstairs and was about to check the basement when he heard dogs barking excitedly in his yard. He sprinted out the back door. "Hamlet! Horatio!" he shouted, jogging over to the maple tree. The two Rottweilers proudly ran up to him and led him to see the prize they had just treed. There was Edward, about eight feet up in the tree and looking furious. His hair was standing up and he was digging his claws into the tree bark. Mustang was relieved to see that he looked rattled but mostly unharmed. "Out for a stroll?" he asked the cat. Ed just glared at him. He petted the dogs on their heads and sent them home. They didn't go too far away, however, still intrigued by the cat. Roy watched Ed cautiously climb down the branches until he was within arms reach and then Roy carefully picked him up. Ed was unbelievably docile as he held the cat against his chest and took him inside. Ed felt safe as soon as Roy picked him up. He didn't like being picked up or moved around, but this was an exception. He had to remind himself not use his claws as he clung to the man the best he could. There were only a few times in his life he'd been so scared. Those were two enormous dogs, and they were vicious. They would be big dogs, even if here in human form but if he were human at least he could use his alchemy. One had actually gotten its jaws around his hind leg before he'd scrambled into the tree. And it had started out as such a nice evening, too. He didn't even struggle to be let down when they were safely in the house, he let Mustang carry him up to the bedroom where he was placed carefully on the bed. He stood up and shook out his leg. He was waiting for more teasing or a 'told you so' from Mustang, but it never came. "You ok?" Mustang asked. He answered in a grumpy meow. His leg seemed fine, but he needed another bath. He felt like he had dog mouth all over him. Mustang smiled at him and petted him to smooth his fur down. Mustang then went about starting to remove his uniform and Ed crawled under the wool blanket. It was dark and warm under there and he could think. Something had happened to him out in the yard. When he'd been really scared and trying to fight, his body had started to tingle and sting as if he were changing back. Could the transmutation be unstable? Why had he felt that sensation when he was scared but no other time? He had certainly wanted to change back into a human right then. He thought it could be a clue about how to turn himself back if he could just figure it out. A heavy hand moved over him. "Dinner smells ready, Ed," Mustang said. Ed slunk out from under the blanket. "Want me to carry you?" Mustang grinned. Ed just meowed reprovingly at him and jumped down to lead the way. He decided he would eat first and then give himself a thorough bath. In the kitchen, Roy was dishing up the chicken and fighting back some guilt. If he'd told Ed how to transform back earlier like he should have, he wouldn't have been terrorized by those dogs. He should have told Ed the truth right after he got him safely inside. Ed was just too darned cute. Roy was really wanting to keep him now. Especially after the way Ed had held on to him when he brought him back into the house. He'd never seen Edward Elric cling to anyone or anything before. Damn it, he'd been sending Fullmetal headlong into danger for five years, why did he suddenly kind of like being Edward's savior? If he admitted to Ed that he knew who he was, Ed wouldn't let himself be petted anymore. Right now, he could only get away with what he was doing because he was pretending he didn't know. It only worked if Roy was unaware that the cat was Ed, other wise it would be inappropriate. This whole situation was inappropriate! Not to mention that the longer he waited to tell Ed, the more furious Ed was going to be with him. He thought about playing dumb, but that story wouldn't hold water when Alphonse got back. He buried the guilt and brought dinner to the table where Ed was waiting in the chair he'd claimed. Ed ate up heartily but must have still been hungry when his portion was gone. He stepped up onto the table and walked over to Mustang. "You have absolutely no table manners, do you?" Mustang asked dryly as Ed sat down by his plate. He picked up a piece of chicken and dangled it in front of Ed. The cat gave him a vaguely horrified look. "Come on," Roy coaxed with a grin, "you know you want it." Ed looked between him and the chicken. He really wanted it, but enough to eat it right out of Mustang's fingers? But it smelled so good! It would only be a little embarrassing. He gingerly caught the meat in his front teeth and Mustang let go. Ed chomped it down and looked for another. Mustang obliged. "Now you're really going to have some bad habits," Mustang mused, leaning his cheek on his fist as he fed the cat another piece. Ed helped him finish his plate and then Roy cleaned up the kitchen while Ed lounged on the countertop near by. He was looking suspiciously smug about being there. He should be shooed off the counter just for that expression. Roy flicked some water at him but only got an ear twitch in response. For the remainder of the night, he took care of a little personal correspondence. He settled in the easy chair and Ed immediately took his place on the couch. Every time he glanced up, Ed was licking himself. Was human Ed this meticulous about grooming? He didn't recall him being quite like this. Maybe it was a cat thing, he thought as he tapped the end of his pen against his lips. By the time he'd finished his letters, Ed was curled up asleep and he felt like doing the same. Roy got up and stretched his legs. Ed must not have been as asleep as he thought because the cat got up and followed him when he went upstairs. Apparently, the nightly routine was established. He had never exactly wanted Ed to sleep in his bed with him, but he had to admit that the open door had been at least something of an invitation. Maybe a dare or a challenge. He was reminded of the previous day, when Fury had almost been transformed by the sorcerer. If Fury was a cat, there was no way he would be sleeping in Roy's bed. Fury would get a blanket on the couch. If Roy couldn't make Hawkeye take him or pawn him off on someone else, that is. Ed pretended to be terribly interested in something in the closet while Mustang changed clothes. The bathroom door shut and Ed came out of the closet and jumped on the bed to wait. It was embarrassing, but he didn't want to get too far from Mustang tonight. He'd never been happier to see the man than when he came charging out of the house to save him from the dogs. He'd felt so relieved and secure when Mustang pulled him from the tree. There were very few times since his mother died that he had felt comforted like that. Usually it was him doing the comforting. He was the older brother, it was ingrained for him to protect Al. Not that Al couldn't fend for himself and hadn't many times saved his butt, it was just that for so long, he'd shouldered so much responsibility. He had no complaints, he wouldn't have let it be any other way, but maybe once in a while, it was nice to be able to let someone else take care of him. Mustang returned and got settled in bed. He turned out the light and Ed ventured nearer. Being a cat now for three days, he'd discovered that they had some kind of innate heat-seeking ability. He craved warmth. He lay down as close to Mustang as he dared, hoping to steal a little heat. Of course, he was petted immediately. He had already resigned himself to permitting it and actually started liking it. Or at least admitting that he liked it. The sure weight of the man's hand was soothing and he knew just where to scratch behind Ed's ears. Mustang's warm hand felt good on his full tummy, so he stretched his front paws up and rolled onto his back a little so his tummy could be rubbed. He heard a chuckle and fuzzily thought how strange it was that something so simple could make them both so content. + Ed took a very obvious kind of pleasure in finding ways to wake Mustang up in the morning. It was just fun, plain and simple. The earlier it was, the more uncooperative the man was, and the more fun it was for Ed. This morning, Ed looked for high places to jump from. There was a bureau opposite the bed that looked promising. There wasn't much on it, so he jumped up there and looked down at the sleeping figure in the bed. If Ed had been human, he would have cackled. This was going to be one wicked jump, but his feline judgment told him he could make it. He went to the very edge, crouched down to gather his strength, and then leapt onto the bed, landing square on Mustang's shoulder. The real trick was not using his claws. Mustang should be grateful, really. There was a surprised grunt from the sleeping man and then he opened his eyes to give Ed a bleary look. Ed just meowed and preened. That had really been quite a jump. Mustang should be impressed if nothing else, in his opinion. "Edward," the man groaned and rolled over. Ed jumped away to avoid being squashed. Maybe he hadn't seen the jump, Ed thought. He went to the floor and vaulted back up onto the bureau. "Don't even think about it, fleabag!" Mustang muttered and hurled an extra pillow at him. The cat and a few framed pictures toppled to the floor. Ed easily landed on his feet and shook himself off. All right, so Mustang was sufficiently impressed by his skill, he decided. Not about to let up, he jumped back on the bed. Another great thing about being a cat was that he got to walk all over Roy Mustang. After all, he had to regain his dignity after eating out the man's hand last night somehow. He knew for a fact that more of that chicken awaited him in the fridge and he wanted it. He walked over Mustang a few times and meowed annoyingly in his ear. "I should lock you in the basement," Mustang grumbled. His hand moved under the covers and Ed attacked it. He threw the corner of the duvet over Ed and pulled the rest of the blankets up to his chin. "I'm not getting up until six, Edward, so scram," he yawned. Ed knew that, of course, and it only made tormenting him more fun. He nosed out from under the duvet and sat down right on the man's chest. Mustang pretended to ignore him. Ed refused to give up and crouched there, ready to loom in Mustang's face when he opened his eyes. His eyes remained closed. The man continued not to notice him or be suitably annoyed. Fine, Ed thought, he'd just have to wait it out. He tucked his paws under him and decided that it was actually pretty comfortable in this spot despite the up and down of the man's breathing. Ed blinked his eyes. He didn't know if he fell asleep or when, exactly, but he noticed when a hand started to stroke his fur down his back. He considered protesting, but he was too warm and too comfy. He should really bite him or something. He was letting Mustang get away with much too much petting. His feline instincts were working against him, here. He leaned his head into the man's palm as he scratched behind his ear. He squinted his eyes open just a little, and found that Mustang's eyes were still closed. He would have thought the man asleep if not for the hands moving over his back. Finally, the hand disappeared and Mustang stretched his arms over his head with a mighty yawn. His back arched off the bed and unbalanced Ed, so he hopped off. He ducked under the duvet again as Mustang got up to change. "Back in a bit," he heard Mustang say and then he heard him going down the stairs. Ed came out and surveyed the unmade bed. It was a very comfortable bed and it was all his now. He sniffed at Mustang's pillow and felt the strange urge to rub his face against the corners. He'd seen cats do that and now understood it as some kind of way that they marked things. He didn't know why he wanted to do it here, but he just did it. Then he laid down on the sheets and rolled around a couple of times before dozing off. He woke when the shower went on in the bathroom. He yawned, got up, stretched his back, and went to wait for breakfast in the kitchen. He was going to hit the books heavily today. Being a cat was kind of fun now and then, but it was time to solve the puzzle and get back to normal. But first, breakfast. Ed jumped up on the counter and watched the stairs until the Colonel came down in his bathrobe. He meowed loudly as if Mustang were likely to forget about him. "On the counter again," Mustang shook his head as he entered the kitchen. "Your manners are truly appalling." Ed just meowed back. Mustang fixed himself some breakfast and put some of the left-over chicken in a bowl for Ed. When they were done, he cleaned up, got dressed, and then left for work, bidding Ed to be good again. Ed did intend to be good today. He was going to stay inside and read all day and then when Mustang got back, he was going to make him read all evening. One of the two of them would get this figured out if Ed had to kill them both in the process. + Roy was home late. Later than he'd expected to be, even. She was one of those women who liked to "talk" afterwards. He sighed and he shut his front door and locked it. He'd left an outside light on, but inside the house it was dark. Ed didn't need lights to get around the house, not with his cat eyes. Roy switched on a light, humming a little as he hung up his overcoat. His gold cat appeared at the top of the stairs and he smiled at the grumpy expression on his feline face. Ed meowed at him accusingly. "What? You didn't expect me to cancel my date and hang out with you instead, did you?" he asked as he removed his boots. Ed bounded down the stairs and trotted over to his water bowl. "Some greeting," Roy chuckled. He supposed he deserved it since he hadn't been home to feed Ed at the proper time. The cat meowed impatiently as he wove a circle around the bowl and sat down. Roy sighed exaggeratedly and went to the refrigerator. He took out the left over chicken and trimmed the meat off of a leg and thigh for Ed. The cat admonished him one more time for being so irresponsible and feeding him so late, but ate the chicken happily. Roy turned off the lights and wandered upstairs to fall into bed. He was still in his uniform for two reasons. The first being that he hadn't had time to change before his date and the second being that she liked it. Some women liked the uniform and some didn't. Either way, he tried to be accommodating. He carefully hung his decorated blue coat and started on the buttons of his shirt. Ed slunk into the room as Roy dropped his shirt on the floor. Now that that irresponsible Colonel had finally fed him, it was time to address the other issue. Something was not right here. Mustang smelled all wrong. Ed didn't like it. Hackles raised, he circled the shirt and sniffed it. He definitely did not like this. The uniform pants joined the shirt in the laundry pile and Ed sniffed those as well. Definitely wrong. Alcohol and perfume and other things Ed couldn't identify. He circled the pile again and hissed at it. "Don't even think about marking that, you reprobate, or I'll have you neutered," Roy threatened flatly and kicked a sock foot at him. Ed hissed at him and skittered away. In just his boxer shorts, Roy sat down on a corner of the bed to remove his socks. Ed jumped on the bed and hissed at him again. "What?" Roy asked, annoyed that Ed was acting up and making a racket now of all times. His fur was standing up and his tail was completely puffed out. He'd rarely seen a cat so upset. Ed growled at him. If Mustang thought he was going to share a bed with him smelling like some hussy, then he'd better think again! "Hey, get your claws out of my down comforter," Roy ordered and swatted at him. Ed leapt out of the way. "What's the matter with you anyway?" Roy asked. Ed hissed and paced the bed. If Mustang got in, he was going to be under the couch for the night and probably the next morning just for spite. Out cavorting with some harlot! And to think he'd let that bastard rub his tummy last night! "Oh," Roy said, seeming to understand. "Do I smell different? Is that it?" He regarded the angry feline and they attempted to stare each other down. "Oh, all right," Roy finally huffed. "I can't believe I'm doing this for such a lousy, mangy, ungrateful fleabag!" he exclaimed with exasperation as he stalked to the bathroom. The door swung shut and Ed heard the shower go on. He jumped back on the bed and tried to forget about the pile of clothes on the floor, which he could unfortunately still smell. "Edward!" The angry shout probably meant that Mustang had found the mess that Ed had made of the toilet paper. Served him right, Ed thought. He had been hungry and bored all night, what else was he supposed to do? Roy was back in a matter of minutes, wet hair hanging in his eyes and holding a towel at his hips. Ed jumped down to sniff at him, make sure he passed. Now he smelled clean like soap, and that was fine with Ed. Ed rubbed against his legs a couple times, finding his skin warm and a little damp still. "Shoo," Roy said and kicked at him harmlessly. Ed scuttled under the bed while he towel dried his hair and changed into pajamas. Once changed, he kicked the laundry pile into the closet, turned out the light, and got into bed. Ed jumped onto the bed and crept over to him. Mustang was still warm and smelled good. He couldn't be too mad about the toilet paper, could he? Ed curled up not far away from him. When he thought Mustang might be asleep, he got up and then laid down again right next to his chest, hoping that he wouldn't notice. He didn't know why he was even doing this, but Mustang smelled like Mustang again and every thing was so warm. Of course Mustang had to notice and start petting him. Ed couldn't even find it in him to be annoyed. It was soothing and he felt calm again, just on verge of falling asleep. "Ok," a sleepy voice said, "I take it back, you don't have lice, or mange, or fleas." He scratched Ed's chin and a vibration started in Ed's throat. He was purring. "And you're only sometimes ungrateful," Roy murmured.
Ed woke snuggled against Mustang's back. He yawned, figuring the man must have rolled over and woken him. It was getting light out, dawn just barely breaking the grey. The perfect time to start bothering Mustang. The truth was, he was embarrassed. He wished he had stayed on his own side last night. He'd let Mustang pet him all night, and he'd started purring, too! How could he let that happen? It scared him that he was getting so used to their domestic routine. It was disconcerting for him to see other sides of Mustang. Mustang was not supposed to have other sides. It was much safer if he was just the arrogant Flame Alchemist and scheming Colonel. Ed didn't want to know that he jogged in the mornings, had alpine skis in his basement, liked architectural artwork, had family pictures on his bureau, occasionally wore an apron, and looked damn fine in a towel. He especially didn't like that seeing other facets of Mustang encouraged him to open up. He had to have his guard up all the time around Mustang, and the man had to do likewise. That was the way it had to be between them, it was the only way that was safe. If all went right, he would soon be human again and could go back to the apartment he shared with Al. That was really his home. No more sandbox, no more jumping on countertops, no more destroying toilet paper, no more of Mustang's big bed. Things would go back to normal. It would be a relief. Until then, tormenting Mustang would make him feel better about his loss of dignity. He jumped up onto the bureau.
Bootfalls on the walk roused him and he sat up with a yawn. He licked his chops and blinked sleepily in the fading light. Before he knew it, Mustang had picked him up and was swinging him around. "Edward!" the man exclaimed happily. "I'm home! Aren't you glad I'm home? Yes? My little kitty is so happy to see me!" Ed meowed grouchily as he was held to Mustang's chest and spun around. Yeah right he was happy about this! He dug his claws into the man's uniform to hold on, but removed them again when it stopped. That stupid cat-abusing colonel was lucky he hadn't sliced the jacket to ribbons. Mustang held him in one arm as he unlocked the front door. Ed let himself be carried inside and then jumped down. Roy watched Ed give him a dirty look and trot to the kitchen as he removed his boots. Yet again, he had resolved earlier today that he was going to tell Ed the truth as soon as he got home, but when he saw Ed snoozing on the front step he just couldn't do it! If only Ed didn't make such a cute cat, this would be a lot easier. He'd even looked cute all puffed up yesterday when he was mad. "Kris, Lisa, and Jessica want to come over and play with you sometime," he said to the cat with a grin. His three young neighbors had mentioned to him that they had seen his cute golden kitty. Too bad he wouldn't be having a cute golden kitty for much longer. He had informed them that he was cat-sitting for a friend, which was true. He was cat-sitting for Alphonse Elric. Ed cast him a glare and yowled shortly. He was not the one those girls wanted to come over and play with. He didn't want them to pet him anyway, he just wanted some dinner. He jumped on the kitchen counter and meowed loudly. "Oh, don't act like I'm going to forget about you," Mustang chuckled and rolled his eyes. "I was only late once!" He set a shopping bag in the fridge and went upstairs to change. When he came down, he pulled a bottle out of the cupboard and poured himself a glass of something that smelled alcoholic. Mustang leaned a hip against the counter as he took a sip. Ed meowed. He put his front paws up on the man's chest and meowed again. He was getting whiffs of whatever was in that quickly disappearing shopping bag and he was hungry, damn it! With a smirk, Roy ruffled the fur between Ed's ears and Ed meowed louder. He wasn't used to being restricted by any kind of schedule. He usually ate when he wanted, went out when he didn't feel like cooking, and took time to relax after work. He was not used to having anyone depending on him or expecting anything from him. "I'm slave to a cat," he noted with amusement. Finally Mustang moved to the fridge to get the white paper bag. He unwrapped the package to reveal two fat pink salmon cuts. Ed was nearly drooling just looking at them. Mustang assembled pots and pans for cooking and Ed lounged on the counter, tail twitching as he watched happily. He was getting fed on time. Dinner was salmon. It was warm in the kitchen and smelled delicious. Mustang was here tonight and he could make the lazy colonel read. It was a fine evening. He was fed at the table and tried to eat the tender fish slowly so he could savor it. He was shocked at how well Mustang could cook. It seemed out of character. Roy cleaned up and watched Ed collect books out of the corner of his eye. He really should tell Ed the truth. It had been long enough. The salmon tonight had been a blatant attempt to ply some kind of clemency from Ed. It was interesting, though, that Ed didn't really seem to mind being a cat. He could leave any time he wanted to, yet he hadn't gone off to seek help somewhere else. He'd stopped trying to leave clues about his identity. He even seemed to enjoy being petted and doing cat-like things such as grooming, napping in sunny places, and jumping on sleeping people. The house was not going to be the same without him. It concerned him that Ed may be becoming more feline and less human. Would that make his transformation back to human more difficult? Could there come a time when he stopped understanding speech and forgot who he was? It was a chilling thought. Surely Hubert Snodgrass hadn't cast such a powerful spell. Regardless, Roy resolved to tell Ed the truth tonight. He just had to figure out how to break the news that he'd been tricking Ed for the last four days. It may have to involve either locking Ed in the bathroom and sacrificing some towels and toilet paper, or tranquilizers. Ed had tonight's books selected and Mustang glanced at them when he was done in the kitchen. He'd never found it odd that his cat could read - another reason that Ed had already come to accept that Mustang knew who he was. It was just like that sneaky, underhanded Colonel to trick him like this. By pretending not to know Ed was the cat, he had the excuse to pet him and treat him like a regular cat. Ed, on the other hand, had no such excuse for acting like a regular cat, for allowing himself to be petted and cuddled. He also understood that if Mustang admitted to knowing Ed was the cat, then they couldn't do stuff like that any more. He couldn't sleep in the man's bed and walk all over him in the mornings. He couldn't sprawl out on the counter and let himself be petted. And damn it, maybe he'd started to like those things, even if he didn't want to admit it. Mustang was stacking wood inside the fireplace. He pulled an old glove out of a bin by the grate and put it on. Curious, Ed came over to see what he was doing. He saw the array on the back just as Mustang snapped and lit a small fire. Ed was suddenly overcome with the longing to practice his alchemy. It had been over four days! Even if he didn't mind being a cat, he still needed to change back. He had a report to finish. Al would be back soon and be worried if he was still a cat. He still had to question that Sardini guy as well. Mustang started petting him with the glove on, distracting him from his thoughts. The ignition cloth was rough and Ed liked how it felt when he was scratched under his chin and behind his ear. He rubbed the side his face against Mustang's fingers. The man laughed and tapped him on the nose before taking the glove off and putting it away. He went about spreading a thick blanket on the floor in front of the fireplace and tossed a couple of couch cushions down before making himself comfortable with Ed's books. Ed was delighted with the fire. All that heat! He took a spot directly in front of the fire and nosed a book open. It was heaven. The blanket was soft and comfy, Mustang was petting him absently. He soon forgot to read. The fire was making him warm and sleepy. Contentment swelled within him. The vibration started in his throat again. He was barely aware of the sound of a couple of pages being turned over his own purring, but then Mustang leaned closer to him. "Ed," he said softly and scratched under his chin. Ed squinted his eyes open. There was a sigh. "Ed, I know it's you," the man admitted. "I've known it was you since I first saw you." Ed closed his eyes again. No, he pleaded silently, don't say it. Don't tell me that because then we can't do this. Just don't say it. Don't say anything at all. Roy waited for any kind of reaction but didn't get one. He was a little confused by this. Maybe a fire and a belly full of salmon had the calming effect he'd been hoping for. "Your brother and I figured out your transformation, Ed," he continued. "You were turned into a cat by sorcery, not alchemy. It's just an illusion. You're not a cat, you're still human. The spell will wear off or you can try to turn yourself back by concentrating." Roy braced himself. It was probably stupid to sit so close to Ed when he confessed. He was expecting Ed to try and claw his eyes out or shred his clothes. Run amuck in his living room, at least. The purring stopped and Ed opened his eyes. So Mustang had known all along - not just that he was a cat, as Ed had suspected, but how he could change back into a human. That evil, conniving bastard. He got up, and even though he was a little unsteady and his feline body pleaded with him to remain near the fire, he marched around Mustang and ducked under the couch. Mustang should have told him right away about the sorcery! He could have changed back days ago! Instead he'd been coddled, manipulated, starved, and attacked by dogs. He'd also been well fed, well slept and well read, but that was beside the point. Mustang rolled over and regarded Ed with a sigh. "Ed, don't be mad," he implored, but it sounded more like an order than a plea. Ed lifted his paw, showed his claws, and took a big swipe at the upholstery on the underside of Mustang's couch. "Hey, hey!" the man exclaimed, getting to his hands and knees and trying to get a look at the damage without coming within Ed's reach. "We had a deal! No destroying the house!" All bets were off, Ed thought grumpily. He gave the couch another long scratch to illustrate his point. Roy gritted his teeth. He knew he deserved some amount of retribution from Ed, but he didn't want it to end like this. Ed would hate him more then he already did. Maybe he deserved it, but there must be some way he could turn things back around. Patience was best when dealing with cats and Edward Elric. "I understand that you're mad, and you have every right to be," he said. "So I'll just leave you alone and mind my own business over here by the fire." He rolled back over and picked up his novel. His skin crawled every time he heard Ed scratch his couch, but he didn't move. He tried to read and finally the scratching stopped. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure Ed was still there and had not slipped off to trash his down comforter or pee on his bathroom rug. Ed's gold eyes glared back at him from under the couch. Roy tried to cover his checking on Ed with a stretch. He then got up and went to the kitchen. In the freezer he knew was a carton of chocolate ice cream. He didn't usually eat the stuff, but he'd bought it to make some dessert for some girl, what ever flavor of the month he'd been entertaining at the time. He found a bowl, put three scoops in, and took it back to the living room. It was the wrong season for ice cream, but the fire would keep him warm. Ed picked up the ice cream's scent immediately. He may hate milk, but he loved ice cream. It was one of those childish, frivolous desires that he usually paid no attention to. He didn't get that kind of stuff growing up. He probably hadn't had any since Alicia's last birthday party, which was a joint with his and she always made sure he consumed lots of cake and ice cream. Mustang's ice cream was definitely chocolate. Mustang sat down on the blanket again and Ed jealously listened to the occasional clink of the spoon against the china bowl. It seemed like it took him forever to finish. He pushed the bowl away and sat up, leaning his back against the ottoman. He went back to his book, leaving the bowl out in the open and unattended. Ed could see that there was a little bit left. He tried his hardest to ignore it, but it smelled so good! Would it taste even better as a cat? He just had to find out. As quietly as possible, he came out from under the couch and stepped onto the blanket. He crept over and crouched at the bowl, licking up the rest of the chocolate ice cream. He'd forgotten how nice it was in front of the fire. So nice that he couldn't leave. Ed WOULD get back at Mustang, let there be no mistake about that. The man would PAY. But right now, Ed wanted to enjoy the fire a little longer. He blamed it on the fact that he was still a cat, after all. Well, Mustang had just told him that he wasn't really a cat, but it sure felt like he was and the fire sure did feel nice. He wanted just one more night of feeling warm and cozy. Just one more morning of dive-bombing Mustang. He would set his energy to changing back tomorrow. Roy had been watching him eat the ice cream, of course, and he watched the cat tuck his paws under and settle onto the blanket. He remained patient, not moving a muscle and giving Ed space. Eventually, Ed laid on one side a curled up. Roy decided it was time to push his luck and attempted to pet Ed. The cat didn't nip at him or even raise his head, so he kept it up. Logic and the experience of knowing Edward for five years told him that Ed was probably plotting something, so he decided to enjoy this while he could. Ed was annoyed. That colonel had a lot of nerve to start petting him again. He was also annoyed that he didn't mind more. He tried not to think about what it meant that he still allowed this, even after Mustang had owned up to his prank. Allow it, hell, he still liked it! He was still a cat! He couldn't help it! That's all there was to it. As soon as the spell wore off, he was going to be out of here. He was not that man's pet! Mustang rubbed his tummy and he rolled over a little, mind going fuzzy. He vaguely tried to think of ways to get revenge, but he was a cat, so he fell asleep instead. Roy smiled. Ed was asleep again. And purring. No doubt he was dreaming of getting revenge somehow, but it was nice for the time being. He could pretend for a little longer that Ed was his cat. Now that he knew, Ed would probably find a way to change back tomorrow and leave. His house would be empty again. He thought about getting a cat when Ed left, but the problem was he only wanted this cat, and this cat happened to also be Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist. Taking complete advantage of a sleeping cat, who was also a fellow State Alchemist and his subordinate, Roy nuzzled his nose into Ed's soft fur. It was shameless and improper, but when would he have the chance again? Ed purred on and didn't wake up. The floor wasn't all that comfortable, but he read and petted Ed until the fire started to die and the room got chilly. He left Ed's side to snuff the fire out and put the couch cushions back. He looked at the purring cat on the blanket and wondered how to handle sleeping arrangements tonight. Would Ed still want to sleep in his bed? He shouldn't want Ed to, but he did. He just didn't know how Ed felt about it. He folded the blanket into a little nest around Ed and went upstairs to brush his teeth. Ed woke soon after his two heat sources disappeared. The fireplace was closed and dark and he could hear Mustang running the water in the bathroom. He was in a blanket nest, but it wasn't enough. If Mustang thought he was going to get out of being his personal space heater tonight, he better think again. Ed marched upstairs and got settled on the bed. Roy was surprised to see the gold cat waiting for him on the bed, but it was not an unwelcomed sight in the least. He turned out the light and got into bed. When he went still, Ed came closer and curled up into a ball. He petted Ed and Ed purred them both to sleep.
Unable to resist, Roy reached out and rubbed his tummy one last time. Ed hummed again and Roy chuckled. The soft fur was replaced with hard muscles, but Ed was still… everything he wanted in a companion. Roy sighed and sat up to pull a blanket over him. He'd probably change his mind tomorrow, anyway, right? The old Ed would be back, stomping around his office, getting mud on the floor, putting his boots on the coffee table, and calling him disrespectful names. Just like Ed was going to have to think of himself as human again, Roy was going to have to stop thinking of Ed as his pet. He was a seventeen year old human male, and in a few hours, he was going to wake up naked in his superior officer's bed. If it were happening in somebody else's life, it would be hysterical. + Ed woke to a light room and no one beside him in bed. Damn it, he thought blearily, he'd missed his chance to dive-bomb Mustang. He ran a hand through his bangs and pushed them out of his face. HAND?! He held both his hands up in front of his face. One flesh and one metal. He bolted up to his knees with a whoop and looked at himself. He was human again! He was back to normal! He was… He was… He looked around. He was naked in Roy Mustang's bed. He flopped back down and smothered his face against a pillow. It could only be worse if Mustang were still here, which thankfully, he wasn't. Trying to ignore how good Mustang's bed smelled, he sat up again to look himself over. His automail was in place and appeared to be functioning properly. He had assumed he would have had some control over when he changed back. The initial transformation had kind of hurt, or at least felt strange and uncomfortable. The time he was chased by those dogs and almost changed back and felt strange, too, so how could he have slept through it? He tried to remember last night. At one point, he remembered waking up last night and Mustang petting him, but he was sure that he had still been a cat at the time, so he must have changed sometime after that. What else? He'd been having some dreams about… Oh, God. Oh, God!! He'd been having sexy dreams about Mustang petting him in his human form. Ugh! He had experienced sexy dreams before but why was Roy Mustang suddenly having a starring role? It had to be this cat thing, it was playing with his head. Good thing he was human again and life could get back to normal. He needed to get the hell out of this house. He seriously considered stealing some clothes and sprinting out the front door as fast as his two legs could carry him, but the smell of pancakes stopped him. He saw Mustang's blue robe on the foot of the bed. Was that for him? He groaned. Then Mustang must have seen him. He got up and put it on, a little annoyed that it was too big. A perfect chance to practice his alchemy! He clapped his hands together and transmuted the robe so it fit. He smirked. This would be his first act of revenge. It occurred to him that he could transmute all of Mustang's clothing to fit him! That would be brilliant. Right now, though, there were pancakes calling his name. He may as well get one more breakfast out of the deal. He almost went to the bathroom to braid his hair and see what he looked like, but thought better of it. What did he care what he looked like? It was only Mustang. Actually, he hoped he looked ugly. Really, really ugly. He didn't need a mirror to braid his hair anyway, so he did that and just felt his nose to make sure he didn't still have whiskers or something. He didn't. Ed tromped down the stairs and found Mustang in the kitchen at the stove. The man set his mug down and turned around. "Good morning," he said evenly. "How are you feeling?" "Uh, good," Ed said, scrubbing his hand through his bangs again. "Everything feels normal." Except for having a conversation with Mustang. THAT felt weird as hell after not being able to talk for five days. Oh, and how about the fact that he was wearing the man's bathrobe and it smelled distractingly like him? No, that wasn't awkward at all. It need not even be mentioned that he had woken up naked in the man's bed. "Automail working all right?" Mustang asked, turned back to the griddle to flip a pancake. "Yeah, I think so," Ed replied. How could Mustang be so comfortable with this? He felt totally awkward. And it wasn't just the naked thing, it was everything. The petting, the purring, all of it. Wasn't that weird? Didn't Mustang think that was weird? Maybe the man was more used to having random people come down his stairs for breakfast. That thought didn't make Ed feel any better. "Can I get you anything?" Mustang asked. "Coffee? Tea? Salmon?" Ed could see him smirking over the pancakes. He rolled his eyes. "Tea would be good," he said. Mustang moved to get a mug. "I can get it myself," Ed added and pulled out a mug when Roy opened the cupboard. Roy looked at him. "Of course," he muttered, reminding himself that Ed was perfectly capable, now that he had his own opposable thumbs back. Ed poured himself some tea and fought the urge to perch on the counter. He was a little too big for that now. For the first time, he felt big in his human body. Hell, he was downright huge by cat standards! "The pancakes smell good," he said, making conversation. He hadn't realized just how intimate the last couple of days had been, but Mustang was keeping his distance this morning and Ed could sense the difference. He should be glad about that, but it made him feel confused for reasons he didn't quite understand and didn't care to explore. "The first ones are just about ready," Mustang told him. "Syrup's in the pantry." Ed retrieved it and set his mug down on the table at his seat. Mustang brought two plates of pancakes over and sat down across from him. "How did the transformation go?" the man asked. "I don't know, I just woke up like this," Ed answered as he drowned his pancakes in syrup. "So, what are you going to do today, now that you're back to normal?" Mustang asked before sipping his coffee. After just a little petting, Ed hadn't wanted to keep to himself last night. Trying to ignore naked, friendly human Edward didn't allow one to sleep so well, he had unwittingly discovered. Finally, he'd had to get out of bed. He'd been down here in the kitchen for a couple of hours now. He didn't feel like jogging because he had a tennis court date with Havoc right before work. He'd just been sitting around, trying to distract himself from what - no, who was up in his bed, and he was on his third cup of coffee now. "Well, first," Ed said, sawing through three pancakes with the side of his fork, "I'm going to question that Sardini guy." "His name is Hubert Snodgrass. He's in police custody now, you should have clearance to question him," Roy said, watching Ed stuff a very full fork of pancakes in his mouth. "If they give you any trouble about getting in, just have them call my office. I'll be in most of the day." "Ok," Ed nodded as he chewed. He chewed and thought and finally swallowed. "I'll finish the report after that. I want to have it all done by the time Al gets back so he doesn't have to think about it. When did he say he'd be back again?" Ed asked between bites. He knew he was inhaling his food, but he was trying not to look directly at Mustang. The man was wearing the pajamas that Ed was now so familiar with and his hair was tussled slightly. He just sat serenely across the table, and Ed knew he was being observed as the man drank his coffee. "Late Monday," Mustang replied, cutting a piece of pancake off with his fork. "I've never seen you so gung ho about writing a report," he added. Ed was chowing down, but he had barely touched his own pancakes in favor of coffee. He didn't particularly like pancakes, but Ed deserved a special breakfast on his first day being back to a human. "Something interesting actually happened to me for once," Ed said, and took a gulp of his tea. "Interesting things are always happening to you, Edward," Mustang said incredulously. "Yeah, but usually in the way of someone trying to kill me, imprison me, trick me, kidnap my brother, and/or steal my identity," Ed said as if those were everyday occurrences for regular people. "This time it might actually be useful," he finished. "We should probably classify this incident to a certain level," Mustang suggested. "Unless you want it to be accessible by just about anyone." "No," Ed said emphatically after swallowing a big bite. "You can decide what to do with it after I hand it in to you." Mustang just nodded. Ed tried to mop up the pools of the syrup with his last few pieces of pancake. Licking the plate wouldn't be proper now. He grudgingly had to admit that Mustang made some terrific pancakes. Ed thought he should learn how to make pancakes. How hard could it be? If Mustang could do it, he could do it. Maybe he could surprise Al sometime. Al usually tried to keep him out of the kitchen, since alchemy and cooking didn't always mix so well and Ed had always been a better alchemist than cook. Ed was finished eating and starting to fidget. "Can I get you anything else?" Mustang offered benignly, a hint of amusement in his voice. Ed paused. This was embarrassing. "Some clothes?" "You can take anything but my uniforms, just remember to transmute it back exactly as you found it before returning it," Mustang said. "Ok," Ed said, head bobbing. "Um, do you want me to do dishes or anything?" Roy quirked an eyebrow at him. The kid hadn't touched a dish since he'd entered this house, save to eat off of one, why break that record now? "No, no," he said, "I'll take care of it. You can get going if want. Don't feel you have to be in a rush to leave. Your brother isn't home for a couple more days, so if you want to…" He stopped himself in the middle of the invitation. What was he doing? Ed was not his pet, and he was going to have to remember that! He cleared his throat. "What I mean to say is, yes, I'm sure you have many things to do." Now excused, Ed got up and took his plate to the sink to rinse it off. It was the least he could do. Then he trotted up the stairs and closed the bedroom door before opening the closet. A quick search told him that the clothes there were too nice, he needed older items. He went to the dresser, purposefully avoiding the top two drawers. It felt weird to dig through Colonel Mustang's dresser drawers, but he found some older-looking clothes in the bottom drawer. He set them on the bed and transmuted them into his usual black outfit and red duster. He threw off the bathrobe and quickly got dressed. Everything fit perfectly. He was beginning to feel like himself again. No one should suspect anything, but he still hoped he wouldn't be seen him leaving Mustang's house so early in the morning. He would have to make up a good cover story. He found a pair of boots and transmuted them so they would fit him. The only thing he didn't have was his pocket watch, but he was sure Al had collected that along with his other clothes. An evil smile stretched his lips as he went back to the closet. He had thought about transmuting all of Mustang's clothes smaller, but he decided to do it one better. He clapped his hands and placed them on the hangers, changing everything inside into black pants, tank tops, shirts, and red coats. He smugly looked over his work. Oh, this was merely the beginning of his revenge. Satisfied, he closed the closet doors and tromped back down the stairs, heading for the door. "Well, I'm off," he said to the man at the table. Mustang looked up from the paper. What was with the weird looks Mustang was giving him this morning? Distant yet all bedroomy at the same time. Whatever. He was leaving. "See you Monday with that report," Mustang said. Ed opened the door and paused. Should he thank Mustang? On one hand, the man had fed him and cared for him, but on the other hand, he'd lied by omission and taken serious advantage. "Bye," he said quickly and closed the door behind him. Roy released the breath he didn't know he'd been holding and just listened. It was quiet in the house. He realized he was alone in his house for the first time in five days. He finished his coffee in peace before cleaning up the kitchen. When it was time, he went upstairs to pack his uniform and change into something he could kick Havoc's butt in. "Edward!" he exclaimed when he opened his closet and found Ed's little wardrobe correction, but then remembered that Ed was not there to hear his consternation. He looked through his new clothes and shook his head. He considered wearing some of the items to the office on Monday to irk Ed, but they would all be too small. It wasn't a difficult transmutation to undo except that he had to create the appropriate array, whereas Ed probably hadn't even had to think about it. He was in kind of a hurry and could only find a marker, so when he was done, there was a nicely drawn array decorating his closet doors. + Roy returned home that night to an empty house. It was still and quiet; no cat came to greet him and he didn't have to worry about why this time. Everything was back to normal. He removed his boots and went upstairs to change out of his uniform. No kitty jumped off the bed or went in the closet. He thought again about getting a pet. A cat would be nice since he liked them now, but he would just expect it to be Edward and no cat was going to be able to replace Ed. Maybe a dog, then. He always liked dogs. He could train it to do useful things for him. Look at Black Hayate. He could have a dog like that. It would have to be an inside dog, though, since Horatio and Hamlet could destroy every kind of fence known to mankind. On the other hand, maybe it was better like this. He could go out straight from work and not be in trouble for forgetting someone's dinner, or in a dog's case, not letting it outside. He could come home smelling like whatever - and whomever - he wanted and heard no complaints. He was free and unburdened, which was how he liked his life. He got out his phone book and searched for someone to come home smelling like. He'd been sitting around the house for too many days in a row. Someone had to be up for going out, it was Saturday night, after all. + He got up late the next morning and was enjoying coffee and the newspaper alone when the phone rang. "Colonel, it's Ed," the caller said when he picked up. "Ah, Fullmetal. How is everything?" he asked. "Oh, fine, fine," Ed said quickly. "Are you busy today?" Roy put his mug down and sat up in his chair. "I have lunch with Hughes and Gracia every Sunday, but otherwise I'm not busy today," he said. "I need to talk to you about my report." He frowned and tapped his finger on the table. Of course it was work related, why would he have thought otherwise? "Can't it wait until Monday? Today is my only day off," he reminded the younger alchemist. "No, it can't wait. It's really important," Ed insisted. "All right, I can be in to the office about two o'clock," Roy grimaced. "Actually, don't bother with that. I'm just going to come over to your house, ok? See you at two," Ed said rapidly and hung up before Roy could answer. Roy glared at the receiver before setting it down. As usual, Ed had given no indication of where he was calling from or how to contact him. So, two o'clock it was. And just when he'd thought his house was safe again.
"Yeah. What are you doing for the rest of the day, Colonel?" Roy pursed his lips into a stern line. "Planning to enjoy my day off," he said. "Just how long is this going to take?" There was no answer as Ed reached into his coat. He pulled something out and before Roy had the chance to figure out what was going on, his body seized and burned. There was severe resistance, but Ed delivered the spell much faster and more powerfully. Everything went black. Ed watched with glee as Roy Mustang seemed to disappear right before his eyes. His clothes fell in a heap on the floor. Ed crouched down, waiting for movement under the clothes. After a moment, there was squirming and a black cat emerged from the pile. The cat freed himself of the pile and shook himself off. Ed grinned. He picked up the cat under the arms and held him up. If there was one word to describe Mustang as a cat, it would be 'sleek.' His black fur was short, smooth, and shiny, and he had light blue eyes. Ed was surprised by the eye color, but he supposed that cats didn't have black eyes, so they had to turn some color. Despite the color change, they were definitely Mustang's eyes looking back at him, nonplussed. "Might take all day," he smirked at the cat, "because it's pay back time!"
|
| Return to FMA fics |