Research - Testing Day 3
by Granate, 2005 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - "What a beautiful morning for a ride!" Roy exclaimed as he brought his horse to halt in the center of the ring in front of Ed. He sounded a little breathless after a 12 jump course, but the horse seemed fine. "That was exhilarating," he said, and patted the horse's neck. "Well?" he asked looking down at Ed. "Pass," Ed frowned. Roy was a fine equestrian so it seemed. It was probably to be expected of a military man, but it was not the way he wanted to start his final day of testing. Roy even managed to make the enormous helmet not look completely ridiculous. "You know, I think some of those jumps were taller than you," Roy added. He had no trouble outrunning Ed on horseback even when Ed chased him three times around the ring before giving up. + "Fore!" Now at the eighteenth hole, Ed was really sick of hearing the cheerful way Roy announced his swing. Turned out Roy had something of a talent for golf. He could hit eight strokes for this last hole and still be under par. Ed gritted his teeth and followed as Roy sauntered onto the green and found his ball. At least they had roped Fury into caddying because Ed sure as heck didn't want to drag the Colonel's golf clubs around. "A perfect putt, sir!" Fury exclaimed for what had to be the twelfth time. Ed considered transmuting his glasses into a jellyfish but instead glared at him as he scribbled on his list. Six under par. It was an outrage. + "You're sure this is a sport?" Roy asked again, regarding his delicately-strung racket. "For the last time, yes," Ed ground out. "What was this called again?" the older an asked, holding up the object in question. "A shuttle cock, and stop asking me that!" Ed replied, not sure why he was blushing. "Colonel, why don't you serve first?" Al broke in from the opposite side of the net. + "Al!" Ed groaned. "I'm sorry Nii-san, I haven't played in a while! I'm rusty!" Al complained miserably. Roy coughed to stifle a laugh before asking Ed, "Well?" Ed muttered something about passing and damned beginners luck as he furiously scribbled on his list. + Roy held the last note and then let the piano finish before setting his hand on the accompanist's shoulder. "That was exceptional, thank you," he said with a winning smile. "Oh, Colonel Mustang, that was lovely!" she exclaimed with stars in her eyes, "I didn't know you could sing like that! Please let me know if I can ever - " Ed nearly tore his list, putting it away so fast. "Ok, Colonel, I think we're done here!" he cut in and snatched the sheet music from the piano. "So did I pass?" "Yes, yes, you passed," Ed said quickly, shoving the man to exit stage left. + "Niii-saaaaan!" Al all but wailed from the dock as he clung to a red cape. "You'll sink like a rock!" Roy toed Ed in the knee as he began to row. "Just put it on," he beseeched, "you'll give your brother an ulcer. Er, metaphorically speaking." "But I have the fearless Colonel Mustang here to save me," Ed replied sarcastically with the wave of a gloved hand. "If the boat goes over and you get knocked out you'll be in trouble. Just put the life jacket on," Roy said, sounding very much like he was scolding a child. He toed the younger man again. "Can your arm and leg even work in the water?" Ed huffed and strapped on the life jacket. Then, looking as official as he possibly could in the over-stuffed, bright orange vest, he took out the list to remind Mustang just who was in charge here. "Don't think I'll be fooled by your fancy clothes," he snarked. "Just because your hat has thingies in it - " "Lures," Roy informed him. "Lures. Whatever," Ed waved him off again. "Anyway, I'll believe you know what you're doing when you actually catch something." He hunched his shoulders and burrowed down into the life vest, not wanting to admit to himself that fishing might be hopeless. He'd suspected it since Roy showed up at the dock with a big smile, a fishing rod, and a box with stuff in it. What was it? Tackle? More of those lures at any rate. Whatever. Why one needed more lures than were already decorating that silly hat he did not know. And what the heck could possibly be in all those pockets in Roy's vest? And for crying out loud, why was he wearing rubber overalls? What ever happened to a simple hook and a good old wriggling worm? "So, are you going to catch anything pretty soon? We do have other things to do today, Colonel," he said sarcastically. "The young just have no patience," Roy sighed, still annoying unperturbed. Ed fidgeted for another half hour until Roy picked up the oars again. "Admitting defeat?" Ed cackled gleefully. Victory was his!! "No, I'm just taking us closer to shore," Roy said easily. "To catch fish, one must strategize. One must think like a fish. On such a sunny afternoon, where would the fish be?" He took one hand off the oars and tapped Ed on the forehead. "In the shade of the trees, of course," he finished. Ed merely gave him a bored look. "You are so full of crap," he said. Roy just graced him that maddening, secretive little smirk that made a lot of people want to punch him in the face, Ed included. He rowed until they were in the shade of some overhanging trees and surveyed the clear bottom. "Perfect," he announced. "You can stay in the boat," he said as he carefully maneuvered himself into the water. "Hey, watch it!" Ed yelped, grabbing the sides of the rocking boat. Roy grinned and flicked water at him. Ed picked up an oar, fully intending to whack the Colonel across the shoulder, but instead transmuted it into a pillow. It was warm, even in the dappled shade, so when Roy's back was turned he shucked off his life jacket and black overshirt before settling back against the pillow. + Without Ed to heckle and rush him, Roy did quite well for himself. He was only sad that Ed missed his gallant performance. He waded back to the boat and found the young alchemist sans lifejacket and asleep, just as he'd assumed. Ed was not prone to being so quiet. He had been waiting all afternoon for this chance to drench his examiner, but Ed was sleeping and looking… well, looking like that. He leaned on the side of the boat and shook his head, mostly at himself, for the things he was thinking. "Sleep a little longer, Fullmetal," he said to no one, "I know you've been up all night obsessing over ways to torture me." He pulled the boat to shallower water where it would be easier to get back in, and then deposited his fish into the live-well. + When Ed woke, Roy was back in the boat, stretched out with his hands under his head and his hat over his face. A dragonfly was attempting to mate with one of the colorful feathered hooks in his hat. Ed blinked and rubbed his eyes. Wh-what were he and Roy Mustang doing together in a boat? The tests! It was the final day of his tests! He fumbled for the live-well and flipped open the lid. Inside were three good-sized fish. Damn, he'd been asleep! How could be sure that Roy caught them himself? He had no choice but to pass him on fishing. "Naptime's over, Mustang, we have more to do today," Ed said flatly as he found his list and crossed out 'fishing.' Roy stirred, pulling the hat from of his face and scaring off the lovelorn dragonfly. He sat up and barely managed to catch the papers he'd rested on his stomach before he fell asleep. "You pass," Ed grunted before he could ask. "I finished these, too," Roy said, handing him the papers. Ed took them and looked them over. They were the crossword puzzles he'd planned to have Roy complete today. Already done! He scowled and stuffed them away with his list. Day Three was not shaping up at all. Mustang only had a couple more chances to fail before the research was over. He checked the silver watch on his belt. "It's late!" he exclaimed, forgetting where he was and jumping to his feet. Roy steadied the boat as Ed flailed to find the pillow and turn it back into an oar. "Row!" Ed commanded. "You are getting much too comfortable barking orders at me," Roy shook his head, mostly in amusement, and picked up the oars. + "Please take as much as you want!" Gracia told them as she let them through the backyard fence and led them to the vegetable garden. "It's more than we can take care of." Ed thanked her and handed a basket to Roy. It wasn't exactly the best way to test whether Roy was bad with growing things, but it was the best he could do on such short notice. He frowned as he watched Roy. This one would be way too easy to pass. All Roy had to do was not kill anything. Day Three tests should have been a lot harder, but he really hadn't thought it would get this far. He had to admit he was getting nervous. "Hey, no helping him," he reminded Alicia when she hefted a plump eggplant into Roy's basket. "But the purple ones are pretty!" she exclaimed. "Come on, Alicia-chan, let's go play," Al said, offering his hand to her. + When he as done, Roy did not even ask whether he had passed, which annoyed Ed. He could at least have the courtesy to pretend to be nervous about it. "Well, now that we have all the ingredients, we're ready for the next test, aren't we?" Roy asked. "I suppose," Ed said gruffly, not liking how Mustang was making those decisions. He looked around for his brother, who was blindfolded and chasing a squealing Alicia-chan around the yard. "Leave them," Roy said lightly as he went to the gate. "Yes, we have plenty more to do yet," Ed said authoritatively. + Roy Mustang in an apron. That alone might make it all worth while if Roy passed in the end, Ed thought as he watched the man gut one of the fish he had caught earlier. He had to grudgingly give some points for the gutting, it was never a clean or fun job. He sat at Roy's kitchen table, list in front of him. He was about to find out if the Colonel could cook. And of course, that meant he had to watch and make sure Roy didn't cheat and he would have to stay and eat it to make sure it tasted good. So far, the gutting was satisfactory . He thought about maybe throwing Mustang on Izumi-sensei's island to see if he could survive. Maybe he would do that if another set of tests were required. Of course, that would mean Ed would have to go along to make sure he didn't have anything delivered to him. It would be a tough job. Roy cleaned up the fish guts before lighting the burner with his alchemy and looking over with a smirk to make sure Ed had been watching. Ed gave him a significantly unimpressed, withering look. He'd probably been waiting all day to sneak in that move. He wouldn't be impressed until there was food on the table. Edible food. "Do you like chocolate?" Roy asked him suddenly. "Yes," Ed answered with mild suspicion. Roy let the olive oil on the griddle heat up and got a glass from the cupboard before moving to the fridge and opening a carton of something. He poured a glass and set it down in front of Ed, and then went back to the snapping griddle to put the fish on. When his back was turned, Ed tried the drink. He finished almost the entire glass before Roy turned around again. "Oh, you liked it," Roy said with a smile and poured him another glass before placing the carton in front of Ed. "Milk!" Ed choked. "I'm drinking milk?! You've poisoned me!" "You liked it a minute ago!" Roy laughed. "It's chocolate milk. Drink up." When he went back to breaking the asparagus, Ed did finish his second glass of chocolate milk. + "Ah, so it was good?" Roy asked when Ed pushed his plate forward, silently asking for seconds. Ed thought about not answering, but it seemed stupid. "Yes," he admitted. Roy all too happily got up from his own plate to get Ed another fillet and another forkful of asparagus. He had to chuckle. Ed had finished his first plate awfully fast. He was a growing boy after all. Hopefully. + Roy cleaned up all by himself without complaint as Ed fidgeted at the table. He paged through his list again and again, but everything was crossed out. It was the end of Day Three and Mustang had passed everything. It was a devastating defeat that Ed was not yet ready to admit. He would distract the opponent. He stomped up to Roy, barely allowing him time to turn around. He didn't even let Roy get a word out, just yanked him down by the apron strap around his neck and kissed him. Hard. + Ed clung to his shoulders until the trembling stopped and then collapsed breathlessly onto the pillows. Roy pushed up onto his elbows to look down at him. There were dirty dishes in the sink. His apron was downstairs somewhere, probably near that chair they'd knocked over. His shirt was in shreds on the stairs, if he recalled correctly. And his pants? Probably out in the hall somewhere but he wasn't 100% sure. He was going to have bruises from greedy metal fingers, but he didn't care about any of that in the slightest, not when he got to see this gorgeously flushed face. He bowed his head to nip at Ed's nose. "Well?" he asked, teasing voice gone husky. Gold eyes blinked open to meet hooded, dark eyes. "That wasn't on the... oh, shut up and kiss me." Roy did just that as languid fingers threaded into dark hair. + The next morning in the office, Colonel Mustang was whistling and shuffling paper a little too happily. Everyone in his group knew better than to ask when he was like this. The only thing he had to be unhappy about on this beautiful morning was the fishy griddle in his sink but that hardly seemed to get him down. Well, there was the fact that he hadn't seen Fullmetal yet today, but he'd be making his way in eventually. Roy was curious to know how that report read. About lunchtime, the door swung open and Ed entered the office, head hanging and feet dragging. Roy greeted him, but he barely seemed to notice. He didn't even kick the door shut in his usual manner, he just swung it dejectedly and plodded over to the couch, sitting down with a huff. Ed had spent the morning typing up his report. The results had been… inconclusive. He was still sure there had to be something Roy Mustang was bad at, but he had not found it. Not after three days of intense testing. Another inconclusive report! After all his inconclusive research on the Philosopher's Stone it just killed him. A man had his pride. To make matters worse, he didn't know exactly how or when Roy had managed to make the whole thing into a date. He had been thoroughly bested. It was amazing, really. And embarrassing. Ed had slept with Roy on what was not just their first date, but his first date ever. A date he didn't even realize he was on. He should be feeling ashamed. He should be feeling cheap. But he wasn't. He was much too concerned with how he might get himself a second date with Roy to consider anything else. The man had even made him like milk. He was done for, really. "So I trust your report is finished," Roy asked. Ed was startled out of his thoughts and looked up to find the man standing next to the arm of the couch, hands behind his back, peering down at him. Ed swallowed, noticing how broad Roy's chest looked in his blue uniform coat. Of course, he had spent a good portion of the night with his face pressed against that chest, so he should know. He cleared his throat and looked away. "Yes, sir," he answered. "And the results?" "Inconclusive." "Inconclusive?" "Yes, more research is needed before a conclusion can be made," Ed clarified. "Hm, I see," Roy said thoughtfully. "I understand you are taking this pretty hard, Fullmetal," he sighed. "The research office is all the way across the compound. Here, why don't I take you? And then we'll get some lunch," he smiled. "Well, ok," Ed answered, trying hard not to sound excited about it. If he'd been paying more attention, he might have noticed the gleam in Roy's eyes as he snuck to Hawkeye's unwatched desk and stole the keys. He quickly ushered Ed out to the black car and they both got in. Roy turned the key and punched the clutch. "Yah!" Ed yelped as the car jumped forward. He stared at the gear shift, eyes going wide. "Um, aren't you supposed to start in first gear?" he asked. "No, no," Roy brushed it off, "first and second gears are for amateurs." Ed wasn't so sure. His fingers came to grip the edge of his seat as Roy zipped through the streets. This was worse than riding with Winry!! "Gyah! C-colonel! That was a stop sign!" he squeaked over a horn blaring at them from just the other side of his window. "The ones with the white rim are optional," Roy replied merrily. Ed looked at the speedometer and immediately wished he hadn't. "I think it's only 25 miles per hour here, Sir," he gulped, pawing desperately for the arm rest as Roy made a hard right turn. "Nah, the speed limits are merely suggestions!" Roy insisted and flattened the gas pedal to the floor. They sailed over a hill and Ed prayed they would land in one piece. He closed his eyes, wailing, "WAAAHHH! Let me out! Let me out! I have to change my report!" |
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