Research - Testing Day 2
by Granate, 2005 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - "Five miles." "Five miles, huh," Roy repeated, rubbing his chin as he surveyed the track. It was early morning, the sun was just up and the air was cool, but he was out here in a tank top and shorts. Ed had said to wear exercise clothes when he'd called this morning. Ed cackling madly at him was definitely a new way to wake up. Ed gripped his packet of papers excitedly. This had to be it. That conniving, rank-climbing schemer spent all day at a desk; there was little chance he could make it five miles. Ed had originally planned on three miles, but wanted to up the ante. He would not be happy if Roy made it to Day Three. He would crush him today. "That's twenty times around the track," Ed informed him of the quarter-mile oval. "Thank you, I can count. I did pass the math test yesterday," Roy said evenly. Edward ignored his comment and pulled out a stopwatch. "Go!" he shouted. He relished the fleeting look of surprise on Mustang's face before he started running. + The blond alchemist scowled at his stopwatch as Mustang started his final lap. So far, he'd managed to keep every mile under ten minutes. This was just all wrong. How could he be this good? It was impossible! As Roy rounded the bend for the last straight away, Ed transmuted his metal arm into a megaphone. "Sprint!" he commanded, "Sprint!!" Mustang obliged him by sprinting the last 100 meters. When he crossed the finish line, he staggered onto the grass, fell onto his hands and knees, and then rolled onto his back. Ed trudged over to where he collapsed, very much wanting to hit him with the megaphone hand. "Well?" Roy panted, a smile on his face despite how out of breath he was. "Did I pass?" "You passed," Ed muttered and he shoved the stopwatch back into his cloak. Roy let out a noise of relief. "Ah, that was mean, Fullmetal!" he exclaimed and kicked Ed in the ankle. "I think you're having a little bit too much fun ordering around someone who outranks you." "Outranks? Right now you're just my test subject," Ed said coolly. "Is that so?" Roy asked, grin growing in a way that made Ed narrow his eyes. + "Thank you, this is so nice of you," Maria Ross said as she led Edward into her garage. "How much do you charge?" "Oh, no charge," Ed said quickly. "I'm making him do it," he said, jerking a thumb down the drive way where Roy Mustang stood, still in shorts, tank top, and sweatband. He waved at them. "C-Colonel Mustang, Sir!" she stuttered and saluted immediately. "Lt. Ross, the lawnmower," Ed reminded her. "Right, Sir," she said and led him to it. He took it and dragged it to where Roy stood. "Knock yourself out," he said to the Colonel. + Ed angrily scribbled on his list when Roy was finished with the lawn. He hadn't missed a spot, even the tricky patch around the birdbath. "Ok, now repaint the shutters," he instructed before putting his sunglasses back on and sitting back in his lawnchair. + Roy was putting the shutters back on in record time and Ross was fawning over how great they looked. Ed was not nearly so excited about it. He was ready with a soapy bucket and a rag. "Windows," he said curtly and held the bucket out Roy. + "So, you're saying the Colonel's gonna do my laundry," Sergeant Brosh asked, scratching his head. "Yes," Ed nodded. Brosh looked at Roy, who was standing behind Ed. "But who compensates if he messes it up or something?" he asked. "I'm an alchemist, I can fix it!" Ed promised, snatching the laundry basket from Brosh's hands. The Colonel had proved inordinately good at cleaning windows and Ross was much too happy about it all, in Ed's opinion, so he had decided to have Roy do someone else's laundry. "By hand," Ed ordered and pointed to the sink when they reached the laundry room in basement of the military dorms. "Again, I'll have to ask you not to tell anyone about this," Roy said as he got to work. "If Fury finds out, he may start to insist I do it myself." Ed just rolled his eyes. + Brosh's clothing was returned clean, dry, and folded in what seemed like no time at all. Ed glared darkly at his list after scribbling out "laundry." Mustang was not supposed to have gotten this far. Who knew he was so good at domestic chores? Maybe it was time to abandon that category. He stomped down to the game room, Roy at his heels. Alphonse was waiting for them at the ping pong table, as requested. "I'm under strict orders not to go easy on you, Sir," Al said with a respectful bow. "I will try to be a worthy opponent," Roy answered, taking up the paddle on the opposite side of the table. + "I'm sorry, Nii-san," Al apologized with a deeper bow than he'd given Mustang. "I failed you." "Eh, don't worry about it, Al," Ed grumbled, ignoring Mustang as he flipped his paddle into the air and caught the handle triumphantly. "Well?" the Colonel asked "Pass," Ed huffed. +
"I tried to tell you this wasn't a good idea!" the man claimed, nervously backing away from the angry short one. Across the foosball table, Roy just smirked and asked, "Well?" "Pass," Ed nearly hissed. + "At least he didn't win any money off me this time," Lt. Breda groused as he placed his pool cue back in the rack. "Loser cleans up the table," Roy reminded him smugly. "Well?" he asked Ed. Ed just growled and nearly ripped through the paper crossing out "billiards." + Al clashed the gong and the two opponents bowed from across the mat. Ed was taking matters into his own hands this time. He would vanquish Mustang in this match, there was no way the man could be as flexible as he was. Al spun and announced, "Right hand yellow!" "Right foot blue!" "Left foot green!" "Right hand green!" "Left hand red!" "Right foot yellow!" "Good thing my opponent is so small." "Are you calling me a tiny midget who is too short to play Twister?! And don't put your leg over me like that!" "Ahh, Nii-san! No shoving! Now I have to pass him on a technicality!" + "Ticket?" "What?" Ed asked the man who had stopped him at the entrance to the Military's aquatic center. "Colonel Mustang is using the pool today, I was instructed to collect tickets at the door," the man answered him. "What?!" Ed exploded, gnashing his teeth as he got in the man's face, "I am here for my research, HE is here for my research, and I do not have a stupid ticket, do you understand me?" The man backed away, stammering, "Uh, well, why don't you just go ahead…" Ed gave him one last glare before sweeping by and taking the stairs two at a time. He couldn't believe Mustang had turned this test into some kind of spectacle. He should have known the Colonel would be just that arrogant. "Guess the smallfry really wants to see him swim," he heard the man mutter to himself. He spun around at the top of the stairs, howling, "Are you saying I'm some sort of ultra short freak who wants to see that jerk in a bathing suit?!" He clapped his hands together and was about to slam them down and wreak concrete justice upon his insulter, so it was probably beneficial to everyone in the building that Lt. Havoc appeared at that very moment. "Hey, boss, there you are," he said, breaking Ed's concentration. The power Ed had accumulated fizzled and he turned to face Havoc. "Better get in there," he continued, jerking a thumb behind him, "all hell's breaking loose. Colonel won't come out of the locker room and the natives are restless, if you know what I mean." "Then what are you doing out here?" Ed asked dryly. Havoc quickly hid the pack of cigarettes behind his back. "Looking for you, Sir," he claimed as he led the way back inside. This had to be it, Ed thought to himself excitedly. Roy Mustang was the Flame Alchemist, after all. Water was his nemesis. Edward had been looking forward to the swimming test. The news that Mustang was afraid to come out of the locker room was music to his ears. This time he would be victorious. His anticipation turned to annoyance as they approached the pool and he could hear the screaming. He was shocked by the sheer number of people, predominantly women, packed into the bleachers. His research had been turned into a circus! Someone was selling candy towards the back! Mustang's team had guns drawn and were keeping themselves between the pool and the bleachers. His brother was a welcome sight amongst the masses as he trotted over with Hawkeye. "Who is responsible for this?" Ed asked, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry, Edward-kun," she said, "it seems Colonel Hughes found out about your test and was selling tickets as a fund raiser for his daughter's preschool class trip." Oh. So Mustang wasn't behind this after all. "Oh, that's nice," Al said, trying to be positive. "Where is her class going?" "The zoo, I believe he said," Hawkeye replied as she checked the safety on her gun. Al would have blanched if he could, Ed could tell by the way he tensed. "But - but," he stammered, "the zoo is free!" "Never mind that!" Ed cut in with the wave of his hand. "Al, please help them keep these idiots back from the pool. I'll go deal with Col. Stagefright." Ed couldn't wipe the grin off his face as he made his way to the locker room. It was time to come out and face the music, Roy Mustang. He pushed through the swinging door to the men's locker room and found the Colonel sitting on the bench in a bathrobe, reading a magazine. "I can send them all home if this is going to be too painful for you, Colonel," Ed said to him, enjoy this far too much. Roy looked up. "Ah, the Fullmetal one has arrived!" he noted, putting the magazine down. "It looks like we can get started now," he said easily as he stood up. "Uh, so you're ready, then?" Ed asked, faltering a little. Why wasn't Mustang nervous? Mustang was supposed to be nervous about swimming!! "Of course, I'm ready," he replied, stretching his arms over his head as he sauntered to the door, "I just didn't want to start without you. And don't bother trying to get rid of the crowd, I wouldn't want you to over exert yourself." He cast Ed a sly look before pushing the door open. Ed scurried after him, highly suspicious that his size had just been mocked, but the thought was jolted from his mind when he heard the cheering from the bleachers. There was some jeering as well, the usual accusations of girlfriend stealing and the like. Roy waved once as he walked down the side of the pool to the shallow end and Ed followed sullenly. When Al appeared with the stopwatch, Roy threw off the bathrobe and handed it to him. Ed ground his teeth as the cheering got louder. Of course, Mustang had to wear a tiny black speedo, of all things. "Don't get too close to the edge now, you may not be able to touch here," Roy said to Ed with a wink as he climbed down the ladder into the water. Ed was about to start shouting curses at him, but his attention was diverted when three women behind him fainted onto the tile floor. He felt the irritation rising again. That wink had so obviously been for him! + The irritation just didn't stop. Mustang was skilled at all major strokes and easily swam under the time limits Ed had specified. This was all wrong! The Flame Alchemist should not be so comfortable in the water! Or look so good in a speedo, Ed thought sullenly to himself as he followed Roy back to the locker room, shuffling his feet the whole way. Here it was, the end of day two, and Mustang still had yet to fail at anything. The locker room door swung shut behind them and drowned out most of the noise from the crowd. Roy shook his head a few times as he grabbed his towel from a locker, making Ed squint as water droplets landed on him. "Anything else for today?" Roy asked as he dried off. "No," Ed muttered, watching him. "Good, I'm exhausted!" Roy admitted and then sighed a little. "I probably shouldn't go anywhere with all these people hanging around." He put the towel down and turned to the blond with another sly smile growing on his lips. "You'll keep me company," he said decisively and grabbed Ed. Ed would have squawked in surprise had Roy's mouth not trapped any sound he might have made. + "Well?" Roy asked as he sat back on his heels. He leaned his elbows on Ed's spread knees and gazed up at his flushed face with more of a sense of accomplishment than he'd felt all day. Ed's flesh fingers continued to rake and twist through his damp hair and his metal hand still gripped the bench. His gold eyes slowly opened. "That was not on the list," he panted, voice lacking any kind of reproof. Roy leaned up a little to lick his bare stomach, making Ed shudder. "I meant the swimming," he said, "you never told me if I passed the swimming." "Swimming?" Ed asked fuzzily, "oh yeah. Pass." |
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